Go Jane: go get some glasses

i’m more than willing to dig through loads of junk to find some reasonably priced treasures. and i do like a large selection. but some of GoJane’s junk are real DOOZIES. SO offensive, SO repulsive, I hardly ever go there, despite their wicked prices. they desperately need a more selective buyer, or at least one that’s slightly less blind. behold, the hideousness…

tri-color top ($17): if you wear this, beware, i might think you’re a pinata and smack you. but that’s ok, because you’ll deserve it.

white apolline jacket ($33): OMG! now my french show poodle and i can be figure skating partners!

represent bikini and senate boyshorts ($40): oh say can you see, my nips through this crappy polyester!? if you wore this to my 4th of july BBQ, i might accidently severely undercook your chicken.

nautical applique skirt ($19): i know! let’s take a perfectly passable skirt and slap on a random red, gold and blue anchor patch and ridiculously long fuschia ribbons so you will feel like you have spiders are climbing up your leg all day! wee!

scholar(??) dress ($23): if you have a habit of drinking waaaay too much goldschlager, passing out face down and then pissing yourself, this is the dress for you.

ashling shorts ($24): i don’t mind a bubble hem on a short short, but the fabric and lack of front seams on this make it look like an adult diaper. and they went CRAZY on the colors. what in the hell would you wear these with?! oh yeah of course, an adult diaper.

apprize skirt ($34): emblazoning “hindu-inspired deities” across your ass is SO yesteryear.

wyoming capris ($29): faded turquoise denim capris may be out, but dirty faded turquoise denim capris are AWESOME.

oh, i almost forgot:

mmm, taste that? i looove the piquant flavor of throat bile. delish.

all that being said, i kinda really want to buy this, this and these.


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