A New Depression Era Fashion Manifesto

The income gap is the widest it’s been since the Depression Era. Louis Vuitton’s hideous patchwork bag is worth just under the median U.S. family income ($46,960) and was recently pre-sold out. Talk about Depression. Our Hotelier / Oil Money Socialite Daughters and Dubai princesses are are rushing to pay $40,000 for this monstrosity, which obviously will not match with their new pink ankle boots, while that same money could have fed a family of Somalian refugees for 10 years. I have a number of expletives for you, nouveau riche scum. If I see you come near me with that $357,000 pearl necklace, I’ll have no other recourse than to calmly rip it from your neck and toss its pearls post-ghost-of-christmas-future-style into a crowd of G-8 protesters.

A few comparisons that will make you feel better about not being able to drop the the equivalent of the Congo’s gross national product on a handbag:

Louis Vuitton: $40,000


Urban Outfitters: $48.00



Brunello Cucinelli: $1,995


Susiemarie: $30.00



Mara Hoffman: $286


Forever 21: $17.80

After all, the connection between style and and extravagant wealth is imaginary, illusory, a sham. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s worthwhile. Quite the contrary. Thrifters, penny-pinchers, and handi-crafters of the world unite every day to create an underground economy of affordable fabulousness. Garments to clothe the nurses, hand made jewelry to make teachers beautiful, comfy cute shoes to help social workers, and hip headscarves to save the hair of the Rosie-the-riveters of today! We ARE the fashion revolution and we won’t sit back and let the upper echelon tell us that we need money to be beautiful. Blue is much prettier and unique than white anyway.

Case in point:

Hello Kitty: $1,995


Linda Plastaid: $29.00


So tell me everybody, which is hipper?


or this:




  1. Hey, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring¡K I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!