A New Depression Era Fashion Manifesto

A New Depression Era Fashion Manifesto

The income gap is the widest it’s been since the Depression Era. Louis Vuitton’s hideous patchwork bag is worth just under the median U.S. family income ($46,960) and was recently pre-sold out. Talk about Depression. Our Hotelier / Oil Money Socialite Daughters and Dubai princesses are are rushing to pay $40,000 for this monstrosity, which obviously will not match with their new pink ankle boots, while that same money could have fed a family of Somalian refugees for 10 years. I have a number of expletives for you, nouveau riche scum. If I see you come near me with that $357,000 pearl necklace, I’ll have no other recourse than to calmly rip it from your neck and toss its pearls post-ghost-of-christmas-future-style into a crowd of G-8 protesters.

A few comparisons that will make you feel better about not being able to drop the the equivalent of the Congo’s gross national product on a handbag:

Louis Vuitton: $40,000


Urban Outfitters: $48.00



Brunello Cucinelli: $1,995


Susiemarie: $30.00



Mara Hoffman: $286


Forever 21: $17.80

After all, the connection between style and and extravagant wealth is imaginary, illusory, a sham. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s worthwhile. Quite the contrary. Thrifters, penny-pinchers, and handi-crafters of the world unite every day to create an underground economy of affordable fabulousness. Garments to clothe the nurses, hand made jewelry to make teachers beautiful, comfy cute shoes to help social workers, and hip headscarves to save the hair of the Rosie-the-riveters of today! We ARE the fashion revolution and we won’t sit back and let the upper echelon tell us that we need money to be beautiful. Blue is much prettier and unique than white anyway.

Case in point:

Hello Kitty: $1,995


Linda Plastaid: $29.00


So tell me everybody, which is hipper?


or this:



9 comments to A New Depression Era Fashion Manifesto

  • Elizabeth

    Great post! The joke is on them.

  • i am agreed. nice work, sis! yowza!
    um, i could be mistaken and nobody panic, but i believe there are tigers on that Mara Hoffman frock. but even more frightening is the way those sleeves make her boobs look like nothing but superfluous armpit flab. run away!

    also, who knew that slouchy purple hawaiian sunset boots were hip??! that chick pulls em off like nobody’s business.

  • I love that necklace and such an amazing price.

    The whole expensive thing is better thinking is everywhere- especially in the art world. :(

  • That Vuitton bag is BEYOND monstrous. I can’t even find the words! I mean, that NEVER happens to me, yet here I am, actually unable to find suitable adjectives!

  • Lynne

    Frankenbag indeed! I have to ponder the deeper implications of a society where anyone could be convinced to pay such a price and carry such a hideousity and think it appropriate. Are we as a nation so shallow, so lacking in self esteem, or simply such sheep? It enrages me to imagine the designers laughing all the way to the bank, saying “We could sell them anything! Trash bag? Done that!” http://dopeswan.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c225271a358fdb00cd978aac27f9cc.html
    If it’s true that money corrupts, the first things it must corrupt are judgment and good sense.

  • Caitlin

    Honestly. Who would spend $2,000 on a Hello Kitty watch. My cousin has a watch just like that. She’s 4 and I helped her glue rhinestones on it.

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