Eve’s Gallery of the Absurd

Tyra Banks told me I needed to look more ‘fierce’ and now I got the feds on my ass. James Piatt “Persuader” purse $289

I love you, spaghetti and meatballs, I will slurp your delicious saucy wool noodles while I watch Cibo Matto videos. Twinkie’s Fridge, priceless.

I always think I’m cuter when I have a couple beers in me, why not have a couple on me too? Miller High Life is my favorite accessory. Elsewares $40-$120.

When I showed my husband this website that will spin your pet’s hair into yarn, he said, “I WANT A MAPPLEBOY SWEATER!”. If that disgusts you, you obviously haven’t met Mapplethorpe. I stopped just short of considering a dog hair bikini.

trends around the world: the oversized trapeze dress

need a comfy chic outfit you can wear to a music fest or an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet that won’t cramp your style? i still love the oversized trapeze/tent dress. so effortless! throw it on with a pair of tights and your sexiest flats or heels, et voila! instant 60′s hippie-glam-chic! that’s how i’d do it, but let’s see how they do it in other parts of the globe…

here it is in NY City:

yellowpleatedHMwhiteredshoe

Miami:

blackmini

Berlin:

blackscarf

Barcelona:

crop jacket

adding a structured, cropped jacket or fitted vest is a great way to make the silhouette look less mumu-ish. so CUTE!

Buenos Aires:

macrame
a macrame sash! why didn’t i think of that?

Milan:

sart

Paris:


pinkrolled
in pink taffeta! love the rolled sleeves, genius!
stripeysunburst

zut alor! beautiful! i love the pattern and the cocoon shape!

Malmo:

lacegrey

Copenhagen:

anne

(hover on photos for sources)


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tag, i’m it. and a bag of chips.

we fashion bloggers are a playful bunch. we giggle and spam, chortle and comment, chuckle and trade links. and now we play virtual tag. wednesday i was tagged by Shopalicious and yesterday by PinkRockCandy. so at the risk of being a virtual party pooper, i better choke up 7 extremely boring personal facts about myself. enjoy.

1. i work part time at a sound studio for tv and film. they call vancouver “hollywood north,” but its more of a mecca for bad movies. i’m sure a few great movies have been made here, but besides the Neverending Story, i can’t think of one. it’s a fun job, especially when i get to meet famous people. since i’ve worked here i’ve crossed paths with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Nora Jones, Evangeline Lilly, Pam Grier, Sarah McLaughlan, Jennifer Beal, Peter Greenaway and Douglas Coupland, to name a few. i started here a week or two after Chloe Sevigny came in. my one true regret in life.

2. i get mad crushes on the most random celebs. Brad Pitt? meh. Clooney? blah. in junior high i was completely mad over Robert Sean Leonard who i’m pretty sure is gay. Eve and i later ended up meeting him at an off-broadway venue in NY when we were 17 and i nearly lost my shit. after that it was Tim Roth, a hawk-nosed badass brit who mostly plays creepy assholes. right now my absolute favorite actors are Phillip Seymour Hoffman and John C. Reilly. LOVE THEM. more than anyone else (oh except for Gael Garcia Bernal, i do have a sex drive after all), if they walked into my work, i would probably pee myself. ok, take out the probably and replace it with MOST DEFINITELY. guess i just have a thing for really good acting.
1amberscrushes.jpg

3. including Eve and 2 step-siblings, i have 6 brothers and sisters. needless to say, i know how to pinch my way out of a chokehold, but i will lose in a tickle fight every time. btw, my older sister Summer has an awesome parenting blog! check it out for adorable photos of cute kids doing good deeds!

4. i ain’t afraid of no creepy-crawlies. i love frogs most of all, snakes are wicked, mice are adorable and spiders eat up all those damn mosquitos. when Eve and i were in jr. high, our science teacher got us to scrape the rotting snakeflesh off the bones of a dead 8 foot burmese python. we did it and were paid generously in pizza.

5. yoga is my favorite. i’m lazy as a bump on a toad when it comes to exercise, but i adore a good yoga class. i was always a completely unflexible klutz up until last year, but now i can touch my nose to my knees and do full upward bow like no-buddha’s business. still klutzy though.

upward bow pose

6. i’m a complete music and movie geek. i will watch movies and listen to music all day long if i could. my favorite movie of all time is Magnolia and i’d name off a long list of all my favorite directors if it wouldn’t bore you to tears. i discover new music that i love on an almost a daily basis. right now my iTunes playlist is consisting of a lot of Jeff Tweedy, Grizzly Bear, Chad VanGaalen, Odetta, Otis Redding and Vetiver.

7. i’m pretty good at cutting hair. i cut hair for my friends, my siblings, my parents and myself. it all started when i wanted a pixie cut when i was 15 and no matter where i went, nobody would cut it as short as i wanted. they just kept giving me shorter and shorter bowl cuts. so i took matters into my own hands.

mia farrow haircut

my 7 tagees are: art of the steal, (into) the fray, stylesightings, kingdom of style, life in a venti cup, design toaster and candid cool. you guys rock!

(photos from catwalkqueen.tv and imdb.com)

adorable high end shoes? final markdowns taken? meh.

i’ve never been a big fan of Lori’s Shoes of Chicago. i’ve never really wanted to buy half of their inventory even though i can barely afford groceries. i don’t really like beautiful comfy, fashion-forward footwear at low low prices. not really my thing. you know me. i like rubber platform flipflops. and crock knock-offs.

i suppose i could be convinced to look modern gladiator glam in these AMAZING SANDALS…

gladiator glam
south beach metallic mesh gladiator sandals $40 (marked down from $130) in gold, sizes 6-7.5

but i’ve never been one for demure schoolteacher wedges that are comfy as all getout…
crisscross
crisscross aerosole wedges $54.90 (marked down from $72) black and brown sizes 8-10

and if there’s one thing that everyone knows about me it’s that i wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of sexy peeptoe flats…
mesh peeptoes
black mesh peeptoes $30 (marked down from $60) sizes 6, 8.5, 9.5

and these wouldn’t look that adorable w/ a pair of grey wool tights, a screaming citron tent dress and a fitted peacoat for fall…
white maryjanes
white cutout maryjanes w/ low chunky heel $60 (marked down from $204!) in black or white, sizes 7, 8-9

ok, i gotta stop now. i can’t pretend any longer, my wallet is quaking in its boots. go! take that last pair of mesh gladiator sandals in 7.5! save me from myself.

however, i should mention that if you enter your email address, Lori’s will send you a $10 off coupon.


thrift stars of the week! (my pix from wardrobe remix)

wardrobe remix was TOTALLY ON this week! i’ll have you know that i had a really hard time whittling away at the superstyle surplus, but here goes…

hipgirl b/w
dear boboniaa, you are way too adorable and you need to stop. you’re a roaring 21st century flapper!

chevrondress
va-va-vacious! you can take your farrah hair over there and stop making the rest of us look frumpy.

demiheart
you’re a painfully hip demi moore. c’mon, you light saint elmo’s fire.

blueshortsfloral
again, sherbet tone is a thrift star every week. this girl knows how to dress herself. schooled!

bluenightie
an adorable embroidered blue nightie shortened and worn with grey knee socks and red t-strap sandals. ’nuff said.

bluetopHWjeans
lovely. the coveted does it again. i covet her jeans. i covet her top. i covet her melodramatic pose.

VStexmexdress
MIA style reprezent!! i adore this tack-tacular texmex print on such a delicate beauty.

primarycolors
i wish i’d done something with my life in the last couple weeks like handsew myself a yellow damask print sundress.

stripedminiboots
lovers unite! is now a thrift stars regular. i’m sure you know why. it has a little something to do with cuteness overdose.

tealromper
this is an amazing teal romper with a crochet insert. again. ’nuff said.

mexicantentdress
leibemarlene haunts my mouse. this is the best mexican tent dress i’ve ever seen. or predicted.

greendressprplbag
oh glee! purple and green and shiny black fringe!

whitepeasant
so lovely! the happy hippie and some celestial lighting. how long did it take to set up this shot? also? i’m having a shoegasm right about now.

cosby cardigan
i’ve sung the praises of the oversized cardigan. this is a cosby cardigan and it’s sexy.
checker vans
i’ve never been a checkered vans fan. but this photo makes them seem like the new chuck. classic.
lbd
a gorgeous vintage LBD with a shamelessly lovely colorful decor. i want to buy that exact dress right off her back.



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buhbye, tomboy. dress me up!

i swear all i wanna wear all the time is dresses. so cool and comfy and feminine. i think maybe my pop-punk tomboy high school days are over. with a vengeance.

i found this awesome shop called LadyLanguage (not so sure about the name, sounds like a lesbian romance novel or something) via the budget fashionista’s sale section and i’m loving their 75% off sale and their prettypretty vintage-y dresses. you can use the coupon code “BUDGET10″ for an extra 10% off too!

bohemian print dress
bohemian print dress $19.90! (medium out of stock)
gorgeous mixed prints! pleated waistband complete with sash! this is the jeebus of cotton print sundresses. i want 6, please!
blue swing dress
blue jersey swing dress $24
jersey is the fabric of the gods and cobalt is my favorite color of the season. and i’m just gahgah over the cut.

black and white print dressbraided racer back
noir imprint halter dress $24.90
lovely! the halter is more of a racer back made from braided fabric. love it!
dropwaist sundress
floral dropwaist cotton sundress $32.40
stripes and flowers, my favorite combo. i’m not sure if this would look a tad cheap in person? what the heck, i’m a sucker for a dropped waist.


your daily eye candy: natasa vojnovic for pucci

although i would’ve preferred a slightly quirkier (aka, more editorial ) model, i’m pretty sure this photo spread cures cancer…


pucci6.jpg
pucci2.jpg
pucci3.jpg
pucci4.jpg
pucci5.jpg
pucci1.jpg

…and now, i’m going to go win the lottery.


Who Needs a Big Fat Syringe Full of Confidence?

Everybody knows about airbrushing and photoshopping, yet everyone is still attempting to attain that idealized self. Well, us painfully hipsters refuse to allow the capitalistic machine tell us what to think. We all know what Faith Hill really looks like:

(source)

Now there’s plenty to be jealous of here: her beautiful smile, her lovely skin tone, her sparkling eyes, but you feel like you could wear a bikini around her and still make eye contact with people in the room. She could be someone we know. She looks great, for a human.

Planethiltron.com decided to do the reverse and photoshop celebrities into real people. Here are a few of my favorites:

Pam Anderson

The other twins

Anna Wintour

Kiera Knightly

Angelina Jolie

You may want to bookmark this post for the next time you look into the full-length and say anything but, “I am the hottest bitch I know.”

And here’s to you, capitalism:

Ann Coulter

She must own stock in pewter claws.


hazardous runways (aka: models eating it)

nothing makes me feel better on a rainy day than watching The Perfect Ones eat runway. repeatedly and thoroughly. but seriously though, modelling is HARD. here’s a great video of the entertaining humiliation from my favorite canadian fashion reporter, Jeanne Beker and her show, FT Fashion Television!

well, i shouldn’t say NOTHING makes me feel better than model humiliation. a good DISCOUNT is right up there:

the gorgeous Fabricio over there at Waterloo is offering all of you beautiful hipsters a 10% discount (coupon code: PAINFULLYHIP) AND a buy 3, get one FREE offer on his badass t-shirts and shortshorts! Hallelujah!

i’m loving these Pet Sounds shorts:
pet sounds shorts
HAWT.

now if only it’d stop raining…

also, happy birthday to ambika! everybody take advantage of her new age AND her talent by purchasing her already sensationally-priced pretty things on Etsy for 15% off (today only) with coupon code BIRTHDAY!

ah! i think i see a sucker hole forming in the sky already!

thrift stars of the week! (my pix from wardrobe remix)

the hippest kids (as deemed by me) on wardrobe remix this week. enjoy!

dresscardi
i loove how she makes a forever21 dress look like vintage w/ that cardi and belt. love the print! parfait!

stripes over tee
this reminds me of a dress amanda sent me once. i was never sure about strapless dresses over tees till now! here’s another that works:

50shousewifechic
loove the white sunglasses and the modern ilovelucy feel of the whole ensemble.

shawl
she’s about to fly away into thrift fashion heaven.

lovelyleibemarlene
lovely leibemarlene wears a split-sleeved 60s dress for a wedding. that’s it, i’m flying to chicago just to go thrifting.

colorblockedandsunny
squinting in the sun in colorblocks and yellow flats. its raining here and i kinda wanna kill myself, maybe i need to wear THIS EXACT outfit.

lbd
the perfect LBD for a sunny day.

purplegreen
that cropped jacket makes a regular cotton t-shirt dress look like haute couture. all hail the hippest girl on the internet.

neon t-shirt dress
oh why oh why does a t-shirt dress make me look like a sack of walnuts?? her teeny frame looks sooo comfy and cute!

hawaiian romper
who says rompers aren’t flattering?? she looks like a pin-up. and for only $2!!

romper
the vintage society girl puts together THE PERFECT comfy-chic traveling ensemble.

bubble skirt
i love a good plaid button down. pairing it with a high-waisted denim bubble skirt and metallic flats is genius.

skirtasdress
this is a skirt worn as a dress (and actually looks it), but i love the way she pairs it w/ a striped skirt and striped socks. and the wee boat print! too adorable.

blue skirt
simple, elegant, chic perfection.

Like this post? Be sure to check out our weekly Thrift Stars category and my Thrift Stars of the Year for 2007!

Elf Cosmetics