Eve’s Gallery of the Absurd

Tyra Banks told me I needed to look more ‘fierce’ and now I got the feds on my ass. James Piatt “Persuader” purse $289

I love you, spaghetti and meatballs, I will slurp your delicious saucy wool noodles while I watch Cibo Matto videos. Twinkie’s Fridge, priceless.

I always think I’m cuter when I have a couple beers in me, why not have a couple on me too? Miller High Life is my favorite accessory. Elsewares $40-$120.

When I showed my husband this website that will spin your pet’s hair into yarn, he said, “I WANT A MAPPLEBOY SWEATER!”. If that disgusts you, you obviously haven’t met Mapplethorpe. I stopped just short of considering a dog hair bikini.