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what to wear while getting in trouble

in my personal experience as a Very Good Kid, summer has always been the easiest time to find trouble.

reflecting on this, it struck me that it is late july, the doldrums have set in, some of you may have forgotten how to get into trouble.

that’s no good.

don’t worry, i can help you.

pondering further, i was struck with another thought: after accomplishing the havoc i had set out to wreak, most often, (in the past of course,) my main concern was, “why on earth did i choose to wear this?!”

i’m sure this is the most frequent concern on your mind as well, when you get caught in the act.

don’t worry, i can help you with that too.

nobody wants to look back on their pestilence and realize that it was completely overshadowed by a bad outfit.

with this universal concern in mind, i have created a summer mini-series that needs no further introduction. it shall be called:

What To Wear While Getting In Trouble

(or how to incorporate this seasons trendiest pieces into your bad behavior.)

episode 1:

Wearing a Floral Romper into the Fountain in Front of the Court House

this episode shows how to wear one of this summers’ hottest pieces - the floral romper (or onesie/jumpsuit/playsuit/whatever) - while getting into public water in front of a government building, that is apparently not a pool.

it is important to note that the romper is the foundation to this outfit, but by no means the only piece involved. just as important are the leather belt and gold hoop earrings, which help you look somewhat respectable as you approach the fountain. (bike and bag are left under a shade tree, to reduce the amount of time spent “setting things down” at the fountain edge. for optimum fountain face-time, you must eliminate as much prep-work as possible. remember, security does not want you to have fun.)

other than that, there are three very important accessories that must not be forgotten when creating this look:

  • keds - these are fantastic in that they slip easily on and off for fountain entry and exit. they also do not fly off the foot as you are running and/or peddling wildly away.
  • over-sized scarf - this (obviously) doubles as a drying device.
  • walkie-talkie - this can be used to either give the appearance that you are important, and therefore it’s ok that you are in the fountain, or, if that fails, to warn the others that you are with that the security guy is coming back.
i hope this first episode has been helpful in re-igniting that flame of fashionable disobedience.
please stay tuned for the next installment.
until then, don’t get caught with your ugly pants down.

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5 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. Nah! I suggest wearing a security guard uniform and aqua shoes for best results. Accessorize with designer sunglasses, of course.

    5. Soos on July 26th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
  2. lol, great advice. Thank goodness I have a romper :-)

    6. Hailey on July 26th, 2008 at 9:36 am
  3. I love this! you guys are so clever.

    after visiting painfully hip a few months ago I was inspired to buy a fashion domain, I bought terriblychic.com

    I just wanted you to know you inspired me…

    7. Delphine on July 26th, 2008 at 5:40 am
  4. why yes, i will.

    10. diana on July 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 am
  5. Diana,

    Will you virtually marry me?

    11. Amber on July 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 pm

6 Trackbacks

  1. By The Mineral Makeup Blog on July 28, 2008 at 3:36 am

    [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

  2. [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

  3. [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

  4. By Splendid Sunday reads on July 27, 2008 at 10:22 am

    [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

  5. [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

  6. By This Week’s Most Splendid! on July 26, 2008 at 5:19 am

    [...] Hip suggests the perfect havoc-wreaking ensemble for the next time a wild streak sneaks up on [...]

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