what to wear while getting in trouble

what to wear while getting in trouble

in my personal experience as a Very Good Kid, summer has always been the easiest time to find trouble.

reflecting on this, it struck me that it is late july, the doldrums have set in, some of you may have forgotten how to get into trouble.

that’s no good.

don’t worry, i can help you.

pondering further, i was struck with another thought: after accomplishing the havoc i had set out to wreak, most often, (in the past of course,) my main concern was, “why on earth did i choose to wear this?!”

i’m sure this is the most frequent concern on your mind as well, when you get caught in the act.

don’t worry, i can help you with that too.

nobody wants to look back on their pestilence and realize that it was completely overshadowed by a bad outfit.

with this universal concern in mind, i have created a summer mini-series that needs no further introduction. it shall be called:

What To Wear While Getting In Trouble

(or how to incorporate this seasons trendiest pieces into your bad behavior.)

episode 1:

Wearing a Floral Romper into the Fountain in Front of the Court House

this episode shows how to wear one of this summers’ hottest pieces – the floral romper (or onesie/jumpsuit/playsuit/whatever) – while getting into public water in front of a government building, that is apparently not a pool.

it is important to note that the romper is the foundation to this outfit, but by no means the only piece involved. just as important are the leather belt and gold hoop earrings, which help you look somewhat respectable as you approach the fountain. (bike and bag are left under a shade tree, to reduce the amount of time spent “setting things down” at the fountain edge. for optimum fountain face-time, you must eliminate as much prep-work as possible. remember, security does not want you to have fun.)

other than that, there are three very important accessories that must not be forgotten when creating this look:

  • keds – these are fantastic in that they slip easily on and off for fountain entry and exit. they also do not fly off the foot as you are running and/or peddling wildly away.
  • over-sized scarf - this (obviously) doubles as a drying device.
  • walkie-talkie – this can be used to either give the appearance that you are important, and therefore it’s ok that you are in the fountain, or, if that fails, to warn the others that you are with that the security guy is coming back.
i hope this first episode has been helpful in re-igniting that flame of fashionable disobedience.
please stay tuned for the next installment.
until then, don’t get caught with your ugly pants down.

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