Last week I received my first ever negative comment regarding an outfit:
Your blog is very well done… The photos of other people’s styles that you post are very creative and appealing. However, I feel that your style is somewhat average and bland. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but it seems like you admire great and interesting fashion, yet your outfits seem typical and.. well, not so interesting. I was just curious as to why you don’t seem to take many risks with your clothing.
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. Just some constructive feedback!
-Lenora
Gah.
As this was in response to my relatively adventurous turquoise leopard print dress and weird neon purple and yellow astronomy-patterned bag, I was a bit astounded at first. As I thought of ways to defend my shallow sense of dignity (not limited to simply deleting the comment and going on my merry way), astonishment quickly turned to defiance, then quietly to resolve. She was totally calling me out on my shit!
The reason I started this blog was because of my love of shopping at a time when I lacked sufficient means to support even a weekly thrifting trip. The only things I ever bought were clothes that were flattering, comfortable and timeless – pieces from which I could squeeze my money’s worth. My practicality (nevermind my lack of dough) was literally stifling my personal style. Blogging gave me a way to “shop” for things I would love to be wearing at that very moment, without creating a vacuum in my wallet. Plus it constantly inspired me to make do with what I had.
Fast forward one year. I had moved to a new city, the perfect time to reinvent oneself. But now that I could afford a few thrifting trips, I was having a difficult time kicking old shopping habits. My new business is based in fashion and design, so I always have potential clients on my mind when I dress. I found myself watering down my personal style in order to try and please everyone’s expectations – an impossible feat. Plus, because my first love is travel, I hate being anchored down with all kinds of stuff. So I was still being uber-choosy and erring on the side of practicality on any given day.
This blog has changed my life in a multitude of ways. My personal style has evolved faster than the Silicon Valley gene-pool. It has also literally helped me become self-sufficient and that has boosted my long-waning confidence. I owe it to my readers to practice what I preach.
So, Lenora, I’ve decided. I have sorta been phoning it in. And if I can’t take constructive criticism from a perfect stranger, who can I take it from? I wouldn’t have been so offended if I didn’t know deep down it was a little bit true. Thank you for lighting a much needed fire under my ass.
After some months of rabid thrifting and clothing swapping, I’ve now got enough signature pieces to put together a few outfits which encapsulate the many personalities of my personal style (whilst shunning my inherent habit of being too goddamn practical). I’m taking this as a challenge to come out of my closet and start baring my soft style underbelly. Be gentle with me.
leather jacket – gift
knit hoodie – flea market, 75 cents
green silk top – UAL, New Orleans $39
Wimbledon tennis shorts – Painfully Hip clothing swap in Chicago
houndstooth tights – Macy’s $7
red patent pumps (with chunky grey heels) – Marshall’s $19
feather earring – borrowed from Eve
Personality #2 – Mixed Patterns
little boys’ pinstriped blazer – thrifted $3
silk rose-print top – thrifted in Chicago $1
paisley print wrap skirt – Susie’s Deals $3
tooled leather corset belt – a gift from foxhuntvintage
cream cable-knit knee-highs – thrifted on the coast $1
stacked heel cowboy boots with cutout pattern – $1 (SERIOUSLY), the rummage room at Atelier!
(close-up of patterns here)
Personality #3 – Modernized Flapper
chiffon flapper dress (seen here sans jacket) – a gift from Michelle of LadyLanguage
leather belt – borrowed from Eve (her blooming baby is foiling her ability to don this awesome belt she bought in Belgium).
nude lace-up heels – thrifted in Chicago $2
Naik Fur hat – a gift! (available at Atelier for around $50)
Personality #4 – Self-Contradictory
(dressy vs. casual / masculine vs. feminine)
ruffled top- Rainbow in Chicago $10
Lucky Brand cut-offs – Painfully Hip Clothing Swap in Sacramento
I think next time I will wear this with more casual shoes and a grandpa fedora to balance things out.
(Photos by Rory Toolan)
The Glamourai wrote a great post on the same issue (in response to a negative comment regarding one of her fucking genius outfits):
“there really is such a
thing as dressing for YOURSELF. i like myself better
when i feel good in an outfit. i feel empowered by a beautiful
detail or a kooky print, and when it’s cold outside, i’d much
rather wear 15 different fun things than one big boring
sleeping-bag of a puffer coat. the more the merrier!!!
who gives a flip if someone else thinks it’s too much?
they don’t have to wear it.
…
‘the selfish pleasure i get?
it’s not in having someone make my photo in the street
(although that’s always flattering). it’s the way people in cafes,
subways, gas stations – and yes, on the street – smile and engage
with me. in a world that can be very isolated & disconnected,
where many people are living lonely, my personal style is a
language that i’ve realized enables me to make new
friends all over the world.”
I want to thank you all again (SO MUCH) for reading my blog and taking my word for what it’s worth, in spite of my lazy style choices of late.
Here’s to dressing for ourselves!
xoxoxo
I have to say the fire under your ass has done you well. You look amazing in all the photos.
I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and I think that your style is fantastic. Honestly, I don’t know much about fashion. I think fun clothes are fun, but more often than not I find myself having to wear more practical, boring clothing. I guess most would describe my style as “safe,” though I always try to have at least one interesting piece of clothing on at a time to keep people guessing (and to make myself feel special). All the same, while I understand (and applaud!) your reaction to your criticism, it upsets me that someone would bother to criticize you (or anyone) on your style. I mean really. Isn’t it all about not only wearing something that expresses your personality, but also something that you’re comfortable in? And that’s practical for your lifestyle?
In conclusion, I love the outfit that was criticized, but I also love the outfits you’re wearing in the above pictures. And even if I didn’t care for them, it doesn’t matter, because you’re wearing what YOU want to wear and each outfit expresses an aspect of your personality in some way or another.
Also, $1 for those boots? Amazing!
Elyse, I could not have said it better myself. That’s totally what I was thinking when I read the original comment, as well as this post. I get SO much inspiration from this blog and my style is pretty “safe” as well. But what I love about Painfully Hip is the balls-out originality and confidence in the outfits I see. And a celebration of all shapes and sizes and highlighting clothes everyone can afford. It’s great and I love the dialogue this post has created.
I don’t think your style is average and bland at all. These pics definitely prove her wrong!
I don’t like the photo where you are sitting near the window can’t see what your wearing!
What true GRACE! and I mean that… taking in the constructive criticism and turning out some beautifully inspired outfits! love #1 and #2! bravo! x-chandra http://www.thewatsontwins.blogspot.com
Great great great! I take it you are now glad she called you on it, it’s been a while since you shown us so many fab looks!
Quick question – how long did it take you to overcome the ‘I’m so pissed off at that person for leaving this comment’ reaction? I just started as a reviewer for a site and am worried for that first negative comment and don’t know how I’ll react.
One another note – I love the outfits you put together, especially the blinding color one – you and the outfit look great!
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great post keep up the countless work.