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Every time I take an armload of clothing into a thrift store dressing room, I am filled with hope. Hope that the half-price pieces fit perfectly, hope that I haven’t too far miscalculated the size of my own hips and am not about to waste twenty minutes of my life trying on fourteen pairs of pants that I can’t even button, hope that the cranky old lady that works here didn’t notice the enormous amount of stuff I brought in when the sign above me clearly says “Limit: 3 items”.
Often there are several things that look sooooo promising on the hanger, yet in practice fit like a burlap sack. Conveniently, I’ve been sewing since I was in diapers, so I can usually go home to my (read: Diana’s) trusty sewing machine and fix the items that are worth altering.
But how do you know if something’s worth altering? And how do you go about altering it? Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s why I was born into this world of ill-fitting clothing. All my years of intense seamstress training have resulted in my figuring out how to take extreme shortcuts and share them with you. My entire life has been leading up to this moment.
May I present to you graciously: Jamaica’s Slipshod Tips For Transforming Your Thrift Duds into Thrift Studs.
CHAPTER 1:
 
Okay. So those jeans you just tried on do fit. As in, they button without any muffin-top side effects. Unfortunately, that’s where the good news ends. You were looking for a comfy pair of skinny jeans, and this pair bags awkwardly at the knee as though you haven’t taken them off in six months. Are they fixable?
Well, sweetcheeks, that all depends on how they make your ass look. If they sag in the bum, they aren’t worth the trouble unless you want to pay to get them altered. And I don’t think you do. Keep looking.
Wait–what’s that in the distance? The perfect shade of lycra-blend grey denim! And they fit your wild rumpus! Awesome! Grab them and then head home to your machine. If you don’t know how to use a sewing machine, it’s time to learn. Technically you could do this by hand, but by the time you’re done you’ll hate me and neither of us want that.
What you’ll need: Sewing machine, thread, pins, patience.
Step 1: Turn your newly acquired jeans inside-out, and put them on. All the way. Yeah I know it’s awkward to zip them, and you look like you’re dressing up for a high school spirit day, but just trust me. Check the side seams. On most jeans, the inseam is reinforced and difficult to alter, so you’re going to want to work with the outside seam, the one that caresses those lovely hips of yours.
Step 2: Grab your pins, and starting at the ankle, pin the jeans to fit you. Like this:
If the denim isn’t stretchy, you are going to want to leave a little extra room so you’ll be able to get them over your feet, and, you know, walk.
Keep pinning upwards until your new improved line meets the original seam where it fits you. Does that make sense? Just look at the picture. Repeat on other leg.
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Step 2: Take the pants off, being careful not to scratch or stab yourself. (**Painfully Hip is not liable for any self-inflicted injuries that result from our clever advice**) Your pants should look something like this:
Step 3: Have a seat in front of your roommate’s sewing machine. Starting from the hem of the pants (and making sure to backstitch), sew along the line you created with the pins, removing them as you go.

When you reach the holy intersection of pin and seam, make them gradually connect, like a pair of socially awkward lovers. Otherwise you’ll end up with strange upper thigh wrinkles, and that isn’t pleasant for anyone.
Step 4: After you’ve sewn both legs up, try the pants on again (still inside out) to make sure the operation went smoothly. Take them off again and cut the excess fabric off, leaving about half an inch past the seam.
Step 5: Put your machine on the zig-zag setting (unless you’re lucky enough to own a serger, in which case you know what to do) and zig-zag the raw edge so it won’t unravel.

You’re done! Turn those bad boys right-side out, wiggle into them and check out your gams in the mirror! SO HOT.
Check back for more sewing tutorials from yours truly on everything from appliques to zippers. Aren’t you excited, my darlings?
My new site was launched today. It’s still all About Budget Style, minus the superfluous expletives! Check me out!

This is me in my $6 “professional” look with gold button necklace by Emily Elizabeth (Sale! 28% off everything on Emily’s birthday – February 8th -coupon code BIRTHDAY).
My favorite pieces so far:
Budget Style Blog (my voice takes over on December 16th).
Target Review (or How to Shop at Target Without Looking Like You Do)
How To Find the Perfect Black Blazer
8 Black Blazers under $70
Five Ways To Make Your Handbag Last Longer
Enjoy!
When sensational Sarah of Yes and Yes (two of my favorite words and definitely one of my favorite reads), approached me to guest post on Painfully Hip, I nearly pooped myself… it felt almost akin to Angelina Jolie asking politely if she could guest host on The Bonnie Hunt Show.
I thought I had the subject of packing light covered, but now she’s gone ahead and one-upped me like I’m, well, Bonnie Hunt.
Thanks so much, Sarah (I think)!
Do you guys actively fantasize about The Type Of Woman you want to be? My imaginary best self usually boasts a wardrobe of carefully selected vintage gear, makes witty commentary about current events (“Oh that Kim Jung Ill is just rapacious!”), owns a boxer named Steve and never, ever has to check her luggage.
While I may never accomplish the dog-ownership (my apartment’s too small) or the witty commentary (unless you count thinking of a clever comeback in the car two hours later) I think I can manage the luggage component of that fantasy. In fact, I’ve got this bit so down pat, I successfully packed for a weekend in Chicago using only my purse.
What? Yes.

Now, I grant you that my purse? Well, it’s rather large. But within its confines I managed to fit my netbook, camera, makeup bag, pajamas and two outfits. If you’re keen to try this madness yourself – a few tips:
Dresses are Best
Dresses are fantastic even when you’re not trying to pack in your purse – one thing! outfit complete! You can bring one cute dress and a few things to layer with it and viola – several outfits, you genius, you!

Accessories = Totally Different Outfit
Yes, I’m now applying for a job with the Obvious Committee. But it bears repeating – headbands/necklaces/leggings completely change the look of your ensemble, right? I brought a cute navy dress that I thrifted to wear on its own with a funky necklace as I poked around Millennium Park and shopped. The next day, I wore it with a little button-up and a different necklace when I met Winona of DaddyLikey fame for lunch and gossip.

The All Important Big Scarf
The big scarf. It elevates most any outfit, makes you look like you miiiight be European (or at least from New York) and it can double as a pillow/wrap/towel/blanket. When I got off the bus in Chicago at 6 am, I wandered around the city in my pajamas taking photos. When I stopped at a coffee shop for breakfast, I asked the barista if it was painfully obvious that I was wearing my pajamas and she assured me that it wasn’t. I credit my big scarf for this answer. And her desire for a tip.

Skimp on the Toiletries
If you’re staying with friends or at a hotel there’s really no need to bring shampoo/conditioner/lotion and the like, eh? They take up heaps of room, weigh your bag down and might spill all over that cute satin lining. Besides, I’m always partial to trying out my friends’ products to see if I’m missing out on anything.
The Patented Roll-Packing Technique
Any experienced packer will corner you to sing the praises of roll-packing. Rolling your clothes will keep them (relatively) wrinkle free and take up exponentially less space. If you want to up the level of anal retentiveness just a bit, you can put your rolled clothing in a separate bag inside your purse so they don’t come unrolled and mingle with everything else. You will also be less likely to pull out your black thong at Panera when you’re digging through your purse looking for change.
Would you ever pack in your purse? What are your packing tips?
funny you ask, because i happen to be a bit of an expert in that field.
let’s not waste any time on small-talk – we’ve got some Serious Money-Saving Hair Business to get down to!
1. you know that thing they do every time you leave the hair salon? the one where they say, “so we’ll see you in 4-6 weeks, right? how about we just book that next appointment right now, since we fill up so fast…”
well, that’s a lie. (usually.) i worked in a pretty upscale salon for a year when i was still in nyc, and even there, under most circumstances it was possible to book an appointment with your favorite stylist about a week in advance. (i mean, if this is your wedding day hair style were talking about you might want to call more than a day ahead, but otherwise… hold your ground, soldier! don’t let them bully you into committing to shelling out another $30, $60, $150, or whatever it is your stylist charges every four weeks.)
2. (this ties in with #1…) take some time to find a stylist you love.
someone you trust, who really “gets” not only your look, but also the texture of your hair. this is super-important. and unfortunately, most often found at the higher-priced salons. the up-side of this though, is that with the right cut, you can easily go two, 3, even 6 months between visits. hair doesn’t grow that fast, and in most cases it takes a few weeks to stop looking “freshly butchered” and grow into it’s full potential.
3. experiment with hair accessories.
even when you know you’ve pushed it way past “acceptable,” you can usually get a few more weeks, (ahem… months? stop staring at me.) out of a ragged ‘do by clipping it up, pinning it back, twisting it around something, knotting it, braiding it – and if all else fails, i heard the turban is making a comeback.
what if – like me – you are morally opposed to bling in the weave?
pick an accessory that’s small, tasteful, and similar to your hair color. check it:

this is a fine example of what i like to call a ‘totally classy hair-piece.’
it also happens to be holding some Very Angry Bangs back while i procrastinate getting a trim.
you can find more totally classy hair pieces by clicking on the picture. or here. i dare you.
bonus: they’re a total bargain, and made by the sweetest etsy-er ever.
4. ask about (free!) fringe-trims between visits.
most salons at the mid-to-nice end of the spectrum offer complimentary bang trims between visits. (of course you still want to slip your stylist a little “thank you” cash, but that’s nothing compared to the standard 20% on a full-priced haircut.) getting your fringe trimmed between cuts will do wonders for hairs that seem like they’ve grown past the point of acceptable. unless you’re doing something drastically short or super-shaped, no one’s going to notice if your sides are half an inch longer than they normally are. this leads me to #5:
5. trim it yourself!
i’m serious. i’m also serious that there are some pretty big rules that go along with this advice. such as:
- take time. this is not something you want to tackle when you’ve got 5 minutes to get out the door for work.
- don’t cut more than 1/4″ in one snip. you can always keep trimming. unfortunately, (i’ve learned) you can’t glue that stuff back on once it’s landed in the sink.
- cut it dry. never EVER trim when it’s wet. hair “shrinks” up once the water-weight isn’t weighing it down. i’m not kidding. don’t do it.
- do not combine this activity with wine consumption, tequila shots, beer-bongs, or any other methods of alcohol ingestion. ”hair-cutting” and “party atmosphere” do not belong in the same bathroom. even if it’s just a party of one…
- same goes for “emotional turmoil.” if you and the boyf just exchanged a few unfriendly words, this is not the time to pick up the scissors. turn to the beer bong instead, ok?
- oh, and use hair scissors. they don’t have to be expensive ones, but come on, we’re classy ladies (and lads.) do we really want to trim our hair with the same scissors we just pruned the ficus with? no.
6. preventative maintenance.
don’t shampoo every day. this is incredibly damaging and entirely unnecessary. trust me, i have that lucky combo of baby-fine locks and hyperactive grease glands – (is that what they’re called?) i will be retiring the day they develop a car that runs off of sebum. but in the meantime, i’ve learned that my hair is much much healthier when i rinse it every day in the shower (and even use a vigorous scrubbing motion, which helps distribute the oils more evenly,) but only shampoo every 3-4 days. same goes for using heat tools – if you must blow dry, aim at the roots and spray the ends with a heat-protecting product. combining these two will almost entirely eradicate split-ends from your life, which means, “hair cut what?!”
(throwing in a little deep-conditioning treatment every once in a while doesn’t hurt either…)
see? i just saved you a ton on your hair expenses. that’s more than that geico lizard can say…
Yay, Diana!
For more cheap-as-free hair and beauty tips, here is another amazing PainfullyHipster post by the lovely Mary Catherine about spending pennies instead of hundreds on better beauty products.
-Amber
Over the years I’ve learned a few beauty tricks that don’t necessarily come from Sephora. Your wallet (and your boyfriend) will thank me.
Cheap as free:
Vitamin E capsules.
Take one, poke a hole in it with a stick pin and glide it onto chapped lips. Not only is it soothing, but you’ll look as though you’re right and ready to be kissed. Smooth it onto bruises as well and they’ll be gone in half the time!
Egg yolk.
Ah, the great skin equalizer. Don’t you hate it when your skin gets all schizo on you with dry patches and acne? Its a little messy and slimy, but one week of egg yolk on yo’ face before bed will fix you right up. No kidding.
Cornstarch.
Having a greasy hair day? Take a teaspoonful (or more if your hair is thick/long), rub it in your hands and comb through your hair. It removes excess oil and gives fine hair body and holding power. For serious!! Best hair product ever and at about $2 per pound, it’s the cheapest too. If you are a brunette you’ll want to be careful not to use too much or you’ll end up looking grey. At some drug stores you can sometimes find a spray-on version called “dry shampoo” in all colors of the hair rainbow for about $5.
Kombucha.
More of a health than a beauty tip, this carbonated fermented tea makes me feel healthy and full of energy. Another quirk? It totally helps prevent yeast infections if used on a regular basis. Although undeniably gross, brewing it yourself is ridiculously easy – if you have a friend who brews it, its almost certain they’ll have an extra SCOBY on hand.
NYC Browser.
This stuff RULES. For about $4 you get eyebrow color, tweezers and wax. Pretty much all you need for amazing brows, although I would highly recommend initially getting them shaped professionally. It makes ALL the difference.
Maybelline Lash Stiletto.
The packaging makes me giggle every time I reach for it (it’s in the shape of a stiletto heel) but there are even more reasons to give this a try: The brush is great for separation and pretty much does for you lashes what stilettos do for your legs.
Worth the dough:
Nippies Natural ($24).
I LOVE these things. I was born with a inert hatred of bras, especially when the straps show. These fix me up when wearing something white, slightly sheer or backless. They’re comfortable, washable, and barely there to give you endless styling options. Also touted as “paparazzi-proof” for when your girls are at attention and there is a powerful flash a-lurking.
Benetint Blush ($28).
Hungover? With this cheek and lip stain you’ll look like you just woke up in a dewy meadow after a mysterious fawn granted your wish to look 4 years younger. The color lasts all day and the bottle will last for months.
Kryolan High-Def Makeup ($21-48).
This stuff was invented by a theatrical makeup company for starlets who are suddenly faced with the daunting reality of High Def television. But this ain’t no pancake makeup! It feels light and breathable and stays put in dreaded humidity.
In other news, packing for New York and Chicago (including two semi-formal events, rain, heat, lots of walking, and a business meeting) in a carry-on bag is going to be a science that I’m pretty sure I’m going to need a bunsen burner for. Wish me luck! Expect photos of blogging soulmates we’re pretty sure were separated at birth, outfits in front of famous landmarks and our Moroccan-themed hotel, and our very own Mary Catherine in her authentic 30s costume for her Broadway play!
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disclaimer:
all images used are found on the web and believed to be in the public domain. if any images that appear are in violation of copyright law, please let me know and i will remove them immediately.
thanks,
painfullyhip at gmail.com

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