Wha..wha…what??! How is August already winding up? I think I may have been caught in a wormhole. Don’t be too alarmed… Thank you all so much for your tips! I couldn’t believe all the legit get-rich-quick schemes you could spout when asked… it makes me wonder what you are doing on my blog? Keep one eye on your emails for your free copy of The Wanderlust Workbook from Yes and Yes!
Alas, not a lot of money has been made (I even considered becoming a go-go dancer at a gay bar, but I think I may be too straight-I’m not fooling anyone), but I am still determined to become stranded in a foreign country for the winter because it sounds like too much fun. Well, character-building anyway. I better get used to the cold because I may be moving back to Canada in a couple of years! Details forthcoming and aren’t they juicy!
The plan right now is to hit New York in early October for a pending shoot with the peerless Market Publique and one of my favorite photographers, Kailas. In the meantime, I am working on my quicklycomingomgit’shere! fashion show at Hotel Congress!
The promo photo was shot by the fabulous Steven Meckler and my cohort for the fashion spreads that will soon be hitting Zocalo Magazine. Everyone who knows me knows that dogs are my favorite people. So this event was custom designed for me. Our shoot also featured rescued dogs, including this adorable mutt, Alley, who is now (but not for long!) available for adoption at Hope Animal Shelter.
And this is Butter Bean the Sex Machine, who was recently rescued and adopted.
The theme for the show? I will be dressing my models like a prep school girl with hippy parents. Our dog models will be dressed in their birthday suits. Be there!!
Today I had a sweet brainstorming session with seasoned commercial photographer (and my newest collaborator – stay tuned), Steven Meckler and David Olsen, the founder of Tucson’s Urban glossy Zocalo Magazine, who have dubbed me their new Fashion Director. YAY. Not fully grasping what that meant until after said meeting, I attempted to dress the part – eye-catching, but classic and professional. What better thing to wear than possibly my all-time tippety top most flattering dress, this buttery leather rucksack (thank you, Thomas Lyte!), and the most comfortable, versatile loafers in existence.
photos by Abraham Cooper
Stripey Zara Dress, $4 – Buffalo Exchange Outlet (oh say, can you spot me on their homepage?) Did you hear? Horizontal stripes have now been proven to be more flattering than vertical!
Thomas Lyte Rucksack – have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Absolutely perfect for transporting my laptop on my bike.
Vintage Nude Tassled Loafers, $1 – Phoenix Thrift Store
Gold Fern Earring – a gift from my good friend, Laura Kepner-Adney, Wingflash Designs
Gold Filigree Statement Rings, $5 – 4th Ave Street Fair
Tucsonans, please mark your calendars for Painfully Hip’s first fashion show on August 27th at Hotel Congress! It will be a benefit for Hope Animal Shelter, Tucson’s only no-kill, cage-free haven for abandoned dogs and cats.
I don’t know what it is lately with the ugly. I find something hideous… like spontaneous conjunctivitis-inducingly hideous… and I can’t resist it. The more it makes me want to wretch, the more I have to have it in my closet. From a late ’80s Hawaii souvenir dress (yeah, it said “Aloha” all over it, what?) to high-wasted acid washed mom jeans with weird assymetrical leather paneling on them… I’ve procured an impressive wack o’ ugly in the last few weeks.
My only theory is that I can’t pass up a styling challenge. But how in the name of the Land’s End catalogue do I make this sad, vest-shaped collection of buttons and polyester look good? Not sure I succeeded. Maybe total fail. I keep thinking just what if I had remembered to button that bottom button? Or added one more accessory… or 3? But that might be like topping a three day old McDonald’s Filet O’ Fish with truffle shavings – it could contribute some vague palatability, but it’s more just a waste of perfectly good truffle shavings.
- Gross Adjustable Vest Thingy With a Print of What Looks Like that Magic Clock Which Turns Out to be a Portal to the Lair of the Red Bull in The Last Unicorn and Some Weird Playing Cards From the 1800s Printed On It – St Vincent Thrift Store Free Room reject
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Vintage Brooks Brother’s hat (my absolute favorite hat EVER) – Some Like It Vintage, Tucson AZ
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Gap 1969 Legging Jeans
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Vintage 70s Stacked Wedges – Thrift Store
- Pheasant Feather Earrings – Cuffs Urban Apparel
Photo by Tyler Mussetter, M Portraits.
Gold leaf earrings, silk chainlink top, beaded belt, and platform wedges from one of my favorite boutiques, Cuffs Urban Apparel.
As you know, I’ve been riding the skinny jean bandwagon for quite some time and can’t imagine letting them go as my staple denim with any kind of swiftness. But I do have one skinny jean rant. You know when you’ve pulled on your favorite pair of skinnies for the third day since laundry day and you notice they’ve come down with a bad case of Saggy Knees Syndrome? It can strike at any moment, but not to me, not anymore!
Unlike those crappy denim leggings that have been plaguing the skinny jean marketplace with their elastic waists, silly screen-printed grommets and (god forbid) flesh-colored gussets, these 1969 Gap Legging Jeans actually look like real jeans. They have double seams, a functioning fly, and just enough stretch to allow proper shaking of one’s groove thing (but not so much that you’re walking around with knees like deflated balloons). They also fit like they were sewn right onto me. That’s real denim-human LOVE.
Remember how your mom would dress you and your four siblings the same when you all went to Universal Studios or a three legged chili cook-off or something and you’d hypothesize profusely about looking like buncha tools? No? Well, I was getting some vivid childhood flashbacks on Diana’s birthday. After we surprised her with a bedroom mini fridge (so she could do her two favorite things at the same time – eat and sleep), we kidnapped her to a secret location custom designed for nausea-inducing amounts of fun.
The good ol’ county fair. Diana’s only clue was a stipulation that she wear one of these identical graphic floral sundress which apparently none of could resist for $1 at the Buffalo Exchange Outlet. Admittedly, it should probably have interfered with her already decided on leopard print “birthday headpiece,” but she wasn’t going to let that stop her. It was her motherfucking birthday and we were going to be just fine in our obnoxious headpieces, 5 inch architectural wedges and stiletto heels, thankyouverymuch.
The following is a step by step example of How to Look Like a Bunch of Tools in Matching Outfits.
(photos by Ciaran Harman)
As we walked in, one security guard told us we looked like “those girls from the 1920s” while his friend exclaimed “SUPER DIVAS!” We were profoundly flattered. I’m pretty sure Diana hasn’t taken her leopard print birthday headpiece off since.
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All images were either used with permission or found on the web and believed to be in the public domain. If any images that appear are in violation of copyright law, please let me know and i will remove them immediately.
Thanks for reading,
Amber
painfullyhip at gmail.com
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