just kidding. i love the oscars. so delightfully self-congratulatory and over-the-top. man, i wish i had more formal events to go to. for 3 years i worked at a dress boutique selling prom and wedding dresses and even tuxedos, so i have a soft spot for formal wear (well, i mean who doesn’t, really?). i won’t go on and on about the oscars, but i thought i’d show you my favorite and least favorite looks of the night and then give you a few hints on how to choose and buy a wicked gown.

favorite dress: Gwyneth Paltrow

oh the coveting. its a Zac Posen in case you can’t already tell. its a gorgeous colour and fits her like a ridiculously sexy, old hollywood style, yet deliciously modern glove in a beautiful gauzy fabric that’s pintucked in all the right places. well-played Gwyn, well-played. the only negative thing i can say is that she needs a re-do from the neck up. the earrings are fantastic, but that fuschia-red lipstick has gotsta go. and dontcha think she’s rocked that stick-straight rapunzel hairdo long enough? it’s so 2001. change it up, Gwyn. you’re 34 now. take a cue from Naomi here:

i said hallelujah! she looks effing adorable! the dress wasn’t doing her any favors; i can see why the rumour mill is saying she’s preggers because she’s absolutely GLOWING.

least favorite dress: Cameron Diaz

omg. this looks exactly like the dream wedding gown i sketched for myself in 1988. um, that’s not a good thing. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew… um… her hair looks nice?

so. in honour of the oscars, here’s my favorite store to find formal wear. they have really beautiful oscar gown knock-offs for prom and also carry reasonably priced designer gowns like BCBG, Tracy Reese and Nanette Lepore. they even have some really cute sundresses, but most importantly, check out their sale section!

nice! only $126! i’d totally wear that.

some tips on shopping for formal wear:

• always look for a dress you can wear, don’t get one that will wear you. decide which part of you is your best asset and find the dress that highlights it. fantastic bosom? look for an empire waist style. tiny waist? try a belted style or an A-line fit. gorgeous eyes? buy a gown in a complementary color. the more over the top and feature-filled the dress, the more likely you’ll get lost in the shuffle.

• if you want to save money, never buy formal wear from a bridal store (i know, i worked at one for almost 3 years). their mark-ups are 110% and most only do special order dresses, which means that they don’t really have any significant sales. the sales they do have are usually to get rid of their samples which have been tried on a million times.

• shop online. yes, that’s right. go to your favorite formal wear store and try on the overpriced styles you are craving to see if they suit your body type. then take your bust, waist and hip measurements. do a search for your dream dress and when you find it, double check your measurements to the size chart for that designer (every designer has a different size chart, just to make it easy on us) and if in doubt, order a size larger and have it tailored (of course, if you are exceptionally tall or petite, this is probably not the best idea since you may have to special order anyway).