california select?

i’ll be the first to admit that i’m turning on my “painfully behind the times” lamp by even bringing this up, but today i happened to re-stumble upon california select and it kind of got me thinking…

actually, it kind of got me feeling a little anxious, possibly even annoyed…

american apparel doing the vintage ebay thing? and as it turns out, the blog thing as well.

it’s quite possible that i’ve gotten fussy about this due to the poor grammar i discovered in said blog. proof-reading is something nice people do, to make reading words nicer for other nice people.

maybe american apparel doesn’t care about niceness?

i think what really got me going though, is the fact that i really don’t like it when previously established monstrosities try to get in on indie/hip/witty and/or clever things that us common folk come up with out of necessity, because these above-mentioned juggernauts of fabulous tee-shirt production have already monopoly-ed all the other aspects of the industry.

(for the record, i put scarlett johansson’s singing career and mcdonald’s referring to themselves as “mickey d’s” in their print advertisingin the same catagory.)

i am aware of the fact that i am being a complete jackass to many many people at this moment in time.

this said, i have to admit, they have some pretty neat stuff on their site:

also, acquiring more tri-blend deep-v’s is high on my to-do list for this week, so i should probably stop talking while i’m still somewhat ahead…

July 27th, 2008 | Category: Painful or Hip?, shopping, too rich for my blood | 23 glorious comments

Go Jane: go seriously consider laser surgery

Here at Painfully Hip, we do try to encourage adventurous dressing, but I have to say that one of the most fun posts I’ve ever done was this rollicking slagging of the Go Jane aesthetic. I was disappointed to see that Go Jane had somewhat toned down their selection since then, but today when I stopped by -there really are a few gems to be had- I saw their new front page and got really excited at the sight of a crazy collage with the most vile shoes I’ve ever laid eyes on front and center.

Now, I have nothing against retailers who take chances and at discounted prices, but there’s a difference between quirky or fashion-forward and just plain crazy-go-nuts. Really, who would buy this shit? Seriously let me know, because I kinda wanna hang out with them.

peeptoe workboot

fucking amazing. I mean with the ugly shoe trend that’s happening these days, I can kinda see the Balenciaga-ish thing they were going for but… Wow, it looks like someone took a hideous mule and frankensteined half a construction workboot onto it minus the overtly practical steel toe. Somebody should be arrested for bringing these Eraserhead babies into the world. EDIT: If you’re actually into these, you’re probably too painful for this site, but check em out in black. They’re less Brick-Laying Hooker and more Janet Jackson in Rhythm Nation. Good luck with that.

ankle wrap heel

No sense! At all, makes none! Shiny formal ombre plastic gladiator spat stilletto?? What kind of dress from Hades would begin to go with these? So confused! Like yoda talking for the rest of the day, I’ll be.

silver pants

I was wondering if the metallic leggings thing would translate to a wide-leg silhouette. I wonder no more. In fact, I think my wondering mechanism is broken forever.

hair necklace

I would totally wear this necklace if I was a plastic troll cannibal and I needed a DIY project for all the troll scalps I’d been hanging on to. Y’know, for old times’ sake.

lovehate

I’m having a love/hate relationship with my eyeballs right now. Do I want them in my head forever, or do I gouge them out with a stiletto heel right NOW for submitting me to such abhorrence? Can you say “Ugg?”

OK, if I don’t stop now, I’ll end up hot-linking 50 more things and then they’ll be on to me. And I won’t be allowed to buy the cheap buried treasures I keep finding, like their much improved denim section. Goooo, Jane!

April 8th, 2008 | Category: Painful or Hip?, painfully funny, painfully popular | 25 glorious comments

the return of the fanny pack?

My mother once got mugged in paris. They knocked her down and stole her fanny pack right off her fanny. Not funny at all. But the funny part was that on the police report, they wrote that her “centre banane” was taken. “Center Banana.” It’s funny on so many levels!
Have you noticed a resurgence? First there were the wide belts, then the wide belts started to get pockets. Now, these little bits of MomChic are popping up on hipsters everywhere! No matter how much we deny it, the early 90s just won’t stay in the past. Check it:

fur

Ivy Frozen wears it well:
ivy

Here it is in Helsinki…
black
i prefer it worn backwards…
whitebackwards
or over the shoulder like MTLST‘s ElektrikB:
overshoulderbackwards
overshoulder

what do you think? center banana: painful or hip? if you think hip, you’re lucky. these things are ridiculously convenient, especially for keeping your cell phone and lipstick handy while clubbing. Plus they’re a dime a dozen in any thrift store. think on it.

[tags]fanny pack, street style, trend, nineties, fashion [/tags]

October 26th, 2007 | Tags: | Category: men's fashion, Painful or Hip?, shoes & accessories, Street Style, trend alert | 12 glorious comments

where were you in ‘92? – say hello again to the era we all thought was out of fashion forever

i’ve been noticing a disturbing trend in street fashion lately. at first an ironic lean toward Day-glo and splash-tack-ular prints, the early 90′s is now emerging in an explosion of earnest, gloriously clashing, epileptic chic.

japanese street wear

god help us, hell froze over and the early 90′s are making a comeback. it was my most hated era, not only because of hammer pants, hypercolor and Aquanet, but because i was a skinny, awkward small-towner who’d just moved to a big city, just beginning the hell some people like to call junior high. thank jeebus for a twin sister through those dark, flourescent-coloured times.

perhaps it’s time to face my preteen fears and embrace this era. maybe it won’t be so painful this time around. but only because M.I.A. (in case of epilepsy, do not click) says so. and M.I.A. will always have her say in my book.

mia90s.jpg

not so convinced? i dare you to watch this video and not want to dance your way to the nearest thrift store to buy yourself a pair of red zebra-striped overalls.

PS thanks for your patience last week. i’m finally home for a while and i’ve got a brand new macbook (thanks, Carlo! i love you!) to help me keep up with your wild demands for my mind-bullets of fashion insight.




June 27th, 2007 | Tags: | Category: celebrity style, Painful or Hip?, painfully popular, Street Style, trend alert | 19 glorious comments

Eve’s Knicker Picker

What is it with elaborate lingerie?

I don’t care if you’re Heidi Klum or Gisele Bundchen, nobody looks good in cheap velour or scratchy lace (although the helmet is totally HOT).

Hell, I’d take duct tape over that.

Now this is super hot, nobody can argue with that, but this was definitely designed by a virgin, because that delicate lace will rip at any sign of heavy breathing and for $1549, you could buy yourself a couple sessions with a sex therapist.

My hubby enjoys simplicity. A pair of boyshorts with a sheer tanktop is his cup-o-tea.

And I’d have to agree. Cozy, comfy, and durable is all I need.

Case in point:

(Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation )

But I’ve got a little hippie in me. Why not channel your power animal from your nether regions?

Or if you want something a bit more feminine, check out Etsy:

At least you know that these handmade beauties won’t crumble under a bit of horseplay, no?

H-O-T to trot.

May 16th, 2007 | Tags: , | Category: Painful or Hip?, too rich for my blood | 8 glorious comments
 
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