I’m loving the hair, & I was kinda shocked I found your lovely face in one of my town’s local bar’s flyers other than that I love reading your blog. keep it painfully [...]]]>

We received the following comment today:

I’m loving the hair, & I was kinda shocked I found your lovely face in one of my town’s local bar’s flyers
other than that I love reading your blog.
keep it painfully hip <3<3

-Denisse

We, of course, knew nothing about this. And, Denisse, we’d really like to know the name of your town so we can, perhaps, have a go at the “sexual piñata.” This is the best day ever.
The image is below. Let me prepare you… I am never going to stop laughing at this. Ever

The following post is Rory’s reaction (he’s the handsome devil with the thumb on the right). Who was the other guy, you ask? No idea. Another victim of bad photoshopping… which was also inflicted on my formerly 2D digital boobs (I mean, you can’t pull off a Hooters shirt ironicly if you own actual boobs. C’mon).

via AwesomeAllDay.
-Amber

Wow… this gives me the cold dead feeling in my insides previously reserved for films by Todd Solondz.The photo is taken from the Awesome All Day Good Will Tour outside of Fayetteville. I’m not sure who the hispanic stubbly guy is but, I’m choosing to believe that he is Diana’s new boyfriend Lorenzo Lamas.

My Spanish is wonky, but I’m pretty sure the flyer roughly translates into:

ummmm…… wow.

it’s been noted by others in the past that my brother and i have an extremely close relationship  - especially since he’s almost 9 years younger than me.

i won’t deny that i remember the day mom and dad bought him from the hospital, but we’re adults now. we’re equals, and i [...]]]>

(diana deaver)

it’s been noted by others in the past that my brother and i have an extremely close relationship  - especially since he’s almost 9 years younger than me.

i won’t deny that i remember the day mom and dad bought him from the hospital, but we’re adults now.
we’re equals, and i spend a lot of time with him so that i can prove that i’m the awesomer sibling.  

it’s the Ultimate Competition – and there are no Time Outs in the Ultimate Competition.  
(have you ever been woken up at 3:00am by a barrage of blinding lights outside your bedroom window?  then your sister probably didn’t invest a whole lot of time and effort into gathering every external camera flash she could get her hands on, and she probably isn’t me.)

it (obviously) goes without saying, but in the Ultimate Competition, i am the Ultimate Winner.

something weird went down this week though – i lost a round.
asher – with a little help from his boss, co-workers and the Tucson Weekly – finally has one point.

asher’s boss (i’ve heard) is a pretty awesome dude.  
example?  work uniform:  he’s allowed to wear pretty much anything he wants – which frequently involves black high-top converse, short-shorts, and a powder blue baseball cap that says “princess” across the front in rhinestones – as long as it covers the appropriate body parts.

example two:  they have a giant sign in front of the restaurant – on one of the busiest streets in tucson –  where employees frequently post pretty much any ridiculous statement they can think of.

(here’s the point where i tell you that asher always introduces me as his “sister, diana – the lesser-attractive sibling.”  then we all laugh knowingly and roll our eyes at each other when he’s not looking.  it’s pretty obvious that it’s just not true.)

so when asher handed me this week’s edition of the Tucson Weekly and said, “oh, and the Ultimate Competition scores are in.  they’re posted somewhere near the back…” i was able to accept the printed matter with grace and composure.  (i rolled up the paper, hit him with it, stormed home, and then laughed hysterically on my living room floor…)  

a true winner never wants her little brother feel bad about himself.  even if he has to post lies on local signage in order to win a round.

the Ultimate Competition: asher’s first point

obvious lies.  (asher on right, wearing “princess” hat and shapeless apron.)

(ps. asher – your lies might be on signs, but my name – and amber’s too – is on the guest list for bon iver tonight.  what?!?!  oh, that’s right – i regained my running title as Ultimate Winner of Ultimate Competition…  see you at the show?  no?  what?  you’re working?!  so sorry, buddy…)

-your sis

pps. if you didn’t click on the link to asher’s music already, do it now.  my favorites? “knee” and “your bird.”  maybe he deserves 3 points?  you can be the judge of that.  

Dudes are afraid of looking fancy. It’s not our fault, we just don’t have many options. We’ve been stuck in t shirt/button-up/polo prison since the jerks who ended the renaissance got rid of pantaloons.

Historically, ladies have caught all the breaks: dresses, [...]]]>

A menswear post from the hilarious Rory of Awesome All Day.

Dudes are afraid of looking fancy. It’s not our fault, we just don’t have many options. We’ve been stuck in t shirt/button-up/polo prison since the jerks who ended the renaissance got rid of pantaloons.

Historically, ladies have caught all the breaks: dresses, the unitard, the jumpsuit and my personal favorite, the “onesie.” What’s easier than having a whole outfit in one simple piece of apparel?! Us guys haven’t had it that good since we were wee babies.

That’s why I think it’s time for a paradigm shift in men’s fashion and a restructuring of the way we ponder casual, formal, and work wear. A romper inspired by women’s fashion, but cut for the brawny heroic proportions of a man. A timeless garment that leaves the entire known stratosphere of the onesie behind. I give you: THE MANSIE.

I picked up this couture revolution up at a little thrift store outside of Tucson AZ, and have warn it almost exclusively since. It’s made up of space age sweat-inducing polyester that really helps me feel the burn when I engage in manly endeavors.

I’ve never owned an outfit that allows me such stress-free sartorial decision-making. I don’t have to spend hours trying to match my t shirts to my jeans anymore!

Note the accents: A built in belt for the snug form-fitting appeal, six different pockets to store my tools/candy/plastic gloves in, and nautically-inspired racing stripes! I’ve never felt so masculine, and yet so fashion-forward.

In fact, much like the elegant dive of the North American Bald Eagle, I don’t think it can be truly understood unless seen in action.

this is a fashion and road-trip related true story that was lifted directly from wellwornroad. sorry to those of you who have [...]]]>

sorry guys! diana’s been busy with food poisoning, and amber and rory have been busy having all the fun, so there hasn’t been a lot of posting round these parts lately…

amber and i found something we thought was hilarious at Cheap Thrills the other day. and those hilarious things are called “Inappropriately Tiny Vintage Hooter’s Tank Tops.”

not that this is something that the entire internet needs to know, but amber and i are not very well… padded, in the upper rib-cage area. this was a source of huge distress when i was in my mid teens, but at this point in life i honestly think it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. bra-less in the summer time? heck yes!

back to the story though. sorry.

we tried on said tank tops (which actually hung in a really flattering and not-exactly Whorish Thing In The World kind of way, due to the fact that we weren’t trying to squeeze small watermelons into them.) we giggled uncontrollably, purchased them, and snuck them back to the house for “surprise attack.”

last night while packing up to leave fayetteville, we picked out the most hussy-esque matching shorts and white shoes we could find in our luggage.

this morning we wore loose dresses over the Secret (Awesome) Outfits and said our goodbyes to jeannette and will. the three of us – me, amber and rory – stopped at a thrift store on the way out of town to drop off the last of the clothes that were left behind at the swap yesterday. rory sat unsuspecting in the car.

unsuspecting, until amber announced loudly on the sidewalk, “wow diana, it’s pretty muggy out today. maybe we should take off a few layers” and we tore our jumpers off in unison.

see, it’s totally anti-climactic when i tell the story in words. that’s why it’s so awesome that cameras were invented:

see, now THAT’S pretty darn funny.

rory’s reaction was great. pretty much exactly what we’d anticipated, right down to this:

i think this is what Spring Break looks like

but yeah, it’s all fun and games and we feel victoriously hilarious, until we fall asleep in the car on the long ride to austin, rory pulls over at a gas and home-made-candy (?!?!) station/shop in the middle of absolute nowhere, oklahoma, and amber and i run inside for a desperately-needed pee break – completely forgetting what we’re still wearing until it was way – way – too late.

rory took a picture of that too. note the less-than-enthusiastic smiles?

do you have any idea how hard it is to pay for your snacks with your arms crossed over your chest, the cashier sending you straight to hell with her eyeballs, and the full attention of every trucker at the gas station? how about i share this with you: don’t try it.

Internet, will you marry me?

Awesome All Day is the funniest pop culture blog you’ve never read. That is until you [...]]]>

Hallelujah! This is Painfully Hip’s 500th post! And what are we going to do? Well, seeing that we already had our millionth visitor and 2 year anniversary landmarks this month, we thought we’d mix it up.

Awesome All Day is the funniest pop culture blog you’ve never read. That is until you read this guest post on vintage tees from an irish man with a big heart, a magnificent beard and a great collection. Before you know it, you’ll be getting a foam finger tattooed on your neck.

Thanks, Rory!

by Rory

I was born with a torso.

It’s not the biggest or the greatest torso in the world, but it’s mine and I love it. If you’ve got one of these things you know how difficult it can be to keep them covered (I’m looking at you Girls Gone Wild). Fortunately, over the years I’ve become pretty good at wearing shirts. Amber just noticed this and asked me to do a guest post sharing my phenomenal t-shirt know how.

Vintage t-shirt hunting is a lot like hunting in real life except with less needless animal slaughter. If you’re going to try to find shirts from local thrift stores, fashion boutiques, and parental closets the best strategy is to scour the racks frequently and to keep in mind three simple factors.

The Fit: By far the most important facet of a solid vintage top. No amount of ironic graphics, non-sequitur slogans, or awesome album artwork can make a t-shirt that fits like a muumuu or upper body prophylactic look cool. Great shirts are shirts that fit great, that’s what makes them attractive, not the logo or comedic value.

The Condition: Does the shirt have pit stains (before you put it on)? Are there holes around the collar/ base/ or underneath the arms? Some vintage shirts can be more expensive than a mail-order bride who knows how to cook and loves to wrestle, so it’s key to make sure that you can use them again and again without worrying about them decomposing into nothingness (the shirt, not the bride). Softee shirts seem to be the standard nowadays, but a thick cotton shirt from the late 70′s early 80′s is going to hold its shape and be a lot more durable and flattering.

The Cost: Don’t let your kids starve to death because you NEEDED that epic Metallica shirt (honestly, there are plenty of other reasons to let them starve). Shopping locally is a good way to avoid paying too much for your sartorial cravings but, if you just can’t seem to find exactly what you want, you should check out these two Ebay stores. Their prices are usually decent and you get the added bonus of outbidding suckers at the last minute.

-Smith and Pooter: I don’t know which one is Smith and which one is Pooter… I think it might be like one of those things that just sounds better when you say it together, like Starsky and Hutch or Sodom and Gomorrah.

-Hattrick Vintage: This is really great Ebay store that has a wide variety of t-shirt, jackets, and vintage hockey apparel (which Amber keeps trying to convince me is a real sport… Maybe a real Canadian sport).

also

There is also this truly massive t-shirt database called Teenormous where you can search for over 62,292 shirts (and counting) If you really want to find a particular image to adorn yourself with. Think Google but, with less porn and fashion blogs.

It’s vital that before you go online and try to restart the economy with your debit card, get yourself measured. Vintage shirts tend to run smaller then their tags let on (that or I have an eating problem and refuse to acknowledge that it affects my girth). Fortunately any online store worth its salt will give you the measurements of what they’re trying to sell. Most tailors will measure you and tell you your size for free, so go ahead and take advantage of them.

In conclusion I’ve created a short video to express the joy that my t-shirt collection has brought me.