I’m terribly sorry for being mostly MIA these last coupla weeks, and not in a good way. I’ve been all over the map, burrowing my way through a glut of writing assignments, and completely and totally camera-less. This fact was especially stingy through my recent Agent Ribbons tour… Those ladies know how to DRESS. We took Farmington, MO by storm, I tell you what!
Of course, I have been thinking about fashion. Always. And lately I’ve been thinking about bondage-inspired ankle boots. About.com asked me to write a few pieces for them and here is my latest.
In past decades, le dépêche mode (fast fashion) was our enemy when investing in the trendiest boots. Who wants to adopt an expensive trend that might stale at any moment? Ankle boots, however, have been huge for the last several years and show no sign of being set free from their prominence. In fact, the latest ankle boot trends show the opposite sentiment: a tendency towards bondage. If you’d like to dabble in this “fetish” without breaking the bank, here are my top 10 picks that feature a plethora of buckles, harnesses, straps, grommets, laces, studs, cuffs, and even cages. Let’s get chic!
1. Strappy Buckle Bootie – Overdose on buckles! Why not? These easy-entry suede boots with a back zipper are only $26.40.
GoJane.com, $26.40
2. Engineer Ankle Boots – Harness boots with a rustic flavor and unique gold studs.
Forever21.com, $22.80
3. Leatherette zipper caged heel – This style walks the line between Yves St Laurent’s famed cage heel and Alexander McQueen’s motorcycle zipper bootie. Either way, you’ve got this trend under lock and key for only $25.20!
5. Bunny Ankle Boots – Paired with black skinny jeans and a shrunken leather jacket, anyone could pull off these exaggerated cuffs with aplomb.
Forever 21, $27.80
6. Crinkle Leatherette Lace-up Bootie – Rugged styling with ultra feminine details, like tassels, macramé and a sky-high stiletto heel for a mere $29.40!
GoJane.com, $29.40
7. Multi Strap Platform Bootie – Edward Scissorhands himself might covet this boot, Just imagine how nicely they would toughen up that floral body-con dress you thrifted last week.
GoJane.com, $31.50
8. Greta Wedge Boot – These boots are probably my tamest choice, but only because the last pair whipped them into submission. I reckon these beauties will still be chic next year, so you’ll get your $32.80 worth and then some.
Forever21.com, $32.80
9. Finella Bootie – Wear this corseted peep toe with layers of tights to keep your toes warm in cooler climes.
I don’t know if a red carpet event qualifies as such if it starts at 8am at a discount department store and there is no booze or paparazzi involved… If, however, it means that a corporation spoils the spit out of you for 24 hours, then yes, I attended a red carpet event. In Glendale, California.
Thank you very much to TJ Maxx for inviting me, putting me up at the Hilton and then, so very kindly, offering to buy my “return” leg to Tucson. You could say that the price of my interstate move was on the dime of a corporation. That’s how I roll. Thanks again, TJ Maxx.
Two rad DKNY dresses. The one on the left is, like 99% off. Or was it the right one.
Anyhow. Style expert and TV personality, the lovely Alison Deyette, explained to us the ins and outs of why off-price retailers, Marshalls and TJ Maxx are so effing rad. In the words of legit wordsmith, Well-Heeled With a Mission:
TJ Maxx buyers travel 40 weeks out of the year to speak to vendors all over the world.
Off-price retailers engage in “opportunistic” buying, i.e. when forecasting mistakes, canceled orders, or overproduction result in more items that a full-priced retailer can buy, an off-price will come in and buy the merchandise at vastly discounted prices.
Most of the merchandise at off-price retailers are in-season, and are released at the same time as full-priced merchandise at department stores. (i.e., you can find a dress at Nordstroms and the same dress at TJ Maxx in the same week.)
Off-price retailers have a fast turnaround time of as short as 2-3 weeks from the time a shipment is ordered to the time that the products are delivered, processed, and shown on the floor.
Department stores have the option of shipping back merchandise they don’t sell, but off-price retailers’ purchases are final.
As you know, I am not huge into “labels” and “names,” but I do, indeed I do, appreciate quality and a good deal when I see it. At this TJ Maxx, I managed to score:
A cozy blouse for $1
A gorgeous liberty print tiered halter dress by Grass (missing the neck tie – a 2 millisecond fix) for $3
Some Amplify styling mousse with moisturizer sample for $4
An amazing zebra print backless one-piece swimsuit for $15
And… a pair of wowza 70s-licious cornflower J Brand jeans made out of the softest denim in the known universe. I literally had to close my eyes as I smoothed them on. Only $39. A splurge for me, but leaving them in the store would be akin to leaving my first born on Michael Jackson’s doorstep (Ok, sorry! Even I cringed at that one. TOO SOON).
I am currently editing photos from the Preen Glam Rock Fashion Show! Here’s a teaser:
These WILL be joining the ranks of my closet soon enough. That is legit vintage python. BELIEVE.
Eve and I were hanging out at her place last night and thought it might be fun to do a vlog – a spoof on one a them makeover shows. Only instead of a $1,000 makeover, we did it for $15.
Directed, Shot and Edited by Danny Dineen
(Thanks, my brutha!)
Watch for:
-My $20 outfit, consisting of a navy cowl neck top (Suzie’s deals – $3), a double-breasted blazer (the Little Boys’ section of Goodwill – $4), my cigarette jeans with zippered ankles (F21 – $13), and my Blowfish moccasins (a gift from my canadian bestie, Richard).
-The subtle hint of terror on my face riding my bro-in-law’s bike, which is a fixie and waaay too tall for me.
-Eve’s grimace of pain when I hug her overzealously and squish her poor mom-boobs.
-Eve’s dog Mapplethorpe causing adorable continuity errors.
-My new self-administered asymmetrical pixie cut.
-Repetition. We did 2 takes and used em both. So sue us.
We’re headed to the coast for some camping this weekend – it’s supposed to be 70 degrees! Can’t wait.
Hey!
I love your blog!! It has helped me begin to tune in on what styles really work for me and fit my personality. Recently, I cleaned out my whole closet and got rid of A LOT clothes that I know I don’t wear. But also, i’ve been losing weight, and I don’t know what to wear during these in between times. I haven’t dropped a clothes size yet, but I know I’m close to it, so I really don’t know what to do! I kind of let go of a lot of my old styles, but am reluctant to buy new clothes because I’m afraid they will be too big for me in a few months. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you,
Jo
Ah, the awkward stage. Nothing fun about being in-between. Firstly I should say that really, instead of “getting rid” of all those old clothes, you should have thrown a clothing swap, missy! Then we wouldn’t be having this problem. Have I tought you nothing? Well, make sure you do throw a clothing swap once you drop the full size and you’re set! I’ll forgive you just this once and try to help you out here, nonetheless.
I recently (accidently) lost almost 10 lbs. on what I like to call “the single diet”- I was newly single, and I hate to cook for just myself, am incredibly busy/lazy (case in point: it took me exactly 4 months to finish this post – Sorry Jo) and have no real schedule, so I end up living off mere snacks whenever I remember to eat. But I was able to keep a lot of my old clothes since I figured out a few tricks with some styles that still look good on me now that they’re a tad bit oversized.
You’re also very lucky because the oversized look just happens to be a la mode, as beautifully illustrated by Betty. Check it.
But if you are sick of your old wardrobe and really just want to show off your waning waist, here are a few pieces you can invest in to maximize your existing wardrobe and flatter your quickly-slimming new figure.
A corset belt.
Trapeze styles may be on the out, but you can still wear those overly-forgiving babydoll dresses from last year by cinching them with a wide belt. Get a nice statement belt that will make you feel like a stunnah even if you’re wearing your comfy “I’m bloated and lazy clothes.” You can also use it to cinch too-big pants and skirts into a chic paperbag waist.
Most of all, it’s good to be healthy but don’t be too hard on yourself and remember this:
You’re more beautiful than you think – the flaws that you believe are constantly glaring out at the world like a large goiter are most likely only visible to you. Be unrepentant. Be happy to be you. Wear your personality and creativity with the confidence that you know exactly who you are and what you love, and eventually your peacock swagger will appear, along with the realization that you really are precisely as hot as you feel.
I am ridiculously in love with your blog and read it to get inspiration almost every day. Unfortunately, it’s basically impossible for me to find thrifted clothing that fits me. I’m not obese or even officially plus-sized (yet) but I am big and curvy: a size 12 with a thick waist, broad shoulders, wide hips, and giant boobs. Most of the vintage clothing I find is sized for teeny tiny waifish girls and even if I find something that I can squeeze into, it’s never, ever flattering.
Skinny jeans don’t work, unless I’m wearing shirt that’s long enough to hide my thighs and hips. Trapeze dresses, shirts, and coats make me look like a circus tent because of my boobs. I can’t wear anything fitted with buttons up the front because they gap. A very slender silhouette doesn’t hide my bumps.
So I try to make my style my own with shoes, bags, and other accessories, but if you had any advice about clothing that a girl my size could pull off, I’d really appreciate it!
Thanks,
Stacy
Amber,
My body is kind of on the “thick” side, and I’m very anxious about wearing sleeveless or shorts. Do you have any suggestions or tips of stylish spring/summer wear?
thanks.
xx,
EM
Well ladies, I do tend to have ideas about these things so thanks for asking! There are plenty of ways to to flatter your loverly curves. Here are some spring/summer tips along with some universally flattering examples from our sponsors (click photos for more info and don’t forget the PAINFULLYHIP discount code!)…
No waistline to speak of? Fake it.
Sometimes even scrawny girls are lacking in the hourglass arena, so if your curves seem to be limited to the convex variety, fake a waistline. High-waisted pants are probably not the best way to go about it, unless you happen to have a flattish tummy – otherwise they end up looking like mom jeans. (EDIT: A reader has disavowed this highly-sanctioned myth, saying that what shall heretofore be referred to as the “Mom Jean Effect” is actually dependant on the cut of the jean and that most high-waisted jeans are actually quite flattering on her 12-13 sized frame. Thanks so much, Suzanne!)
Here are some pieces that should do the trick:
High-waisted A-line skirts – If you still want to take part in the high-waisted trend, A-line skirts flow out from the body and emphasize the smallest part of your waist without over-accentuating your belly.
Cardigans – with a nonchalant button or 2 done up at the waist
Cropped vests – adorable layered over scoopneck tanks and tees. Leave it open if your impressive boobs don’t allow for full closure.
Structured jackets with waist details and 2 button blazers – just make sure your jackets are really fitted in the shoulders or they’ll end up adding girth. There are lots of short-sleeved jackets for warmer weather these days!
Belts – obvious! Keep some wide black ribbon on hand for a quick and pretty alternative to wear with dresses.
Empire waists – obviously obvious. They simultaneously enhance the bustline and accentuate the smallest part of your torso.
Don’t be afraid to flash that epidermis.
Sorry, EM, but its been proven (by some reeeeally bored scientists) that the human eye always tends to linger on the skin. And its not your luminous skin you’re trying to hide, is it? So show off your sweet freckles, lovely clavicle, voluminous cleavage or shapely legs and no one will even begin to take notice of last night’s beer binge bloat. Some flattering ways to show skin are:
Deep V and sweetheart necklines – they elongate the neck and show just enough cleavage for you to feel sexy without worrying about support bra sightings. Also, showing a bit of cleavage will break up the mammary “real estate” and actually minimize to the eye (probably one of the reasons that wearing a clingy crewneck sweater over a torpedo bra was considered a tad risque in the 50′s).
Halter necklines with wide straps – supportive, flattering and sultry, they showcase your covetable cleavage and minimize broad shoulders
Cap and Flutter sleeves – the closest thing to sleeveless with a comfortable and feminine slimming effect
Cut-outs and sheer fabrics – of the tasteful variety. I’m not talking heart-shaped cutouts all down the sides of your tapered acid washed jeans or a black chiffon tunic that shows your bra, c’mon now. A touch of sheer lace here and there won’t kill you.
Bermuda shorts and gauchos – when hitting at the knee will cover any smidge of cellulite and accentuate the slimmest part of your leg. Try em with calf-shaping wedges or heels if you’re not convinced.
If you still really hate your legs try (1) layering a maxi dress for your warm weather wallows, (2) sheer tights are an option this season, or (3) getting over it – they’re what you’ve got so love em and don’t let them hinder your thirst for fashion – plus it’s amazing what a little bit of self-tanner will do.
Shop vintage and learn to sew.
I’m having a hard time believing that you can’t find anything in thrift stores that fits you! I always find the cutest stuff neglected in the plus size section! Try taking a supportive but honest friend with you who will encourage you to be more adventurous and always try things on! If you still can’t seem to find anything flattering in your size, try eBay or vintage sites that sort by size. Make sure you go to a seamstress to get proper measurements (or learn how to do it on your own) before buying online. 50′s silhouettes are always flattering (hello, hourglass era!), but when in doubt buy larger than you think and learn to alter the bodice and sleeves to fit and/or flatter. Its really not as tough as you think and always worth it in the end if you find something that you really love.
Or look for all the cute vintage-inspired pieces that have been popping up in boutiques lately which tend to be more flattering and well-fit than actual vintage clothes. You may have to spend a little more, but it may be worth the time saved.
Above all, own it.
No matter how much advice I spew, none of it will do any good if you’re not confident in your own skin. You can pull absolutely anything off if you feel like rockin it (mind-bending outfits have been rocked which were historically known to be entirely un-rockable – CASE IN POINT), but until you reach that point, try to play up your favorite attributes. You’re more beautiful than you think – the flaws that you believe are constantly glaring out at the world like a large goiter are most likely only visible to you. Be unrepentant. Be happy to be you. Wear your personality and creativity with the confidence that you know exactly who you are and what you love, and eventually your peacock swagger will appear, along with the realization that you really are precisely as hot as you feel.
All images were either used with permission or found on the web and believed to be in the public domain. If any images that appear are in violation of copyright law, please let me know and i will remove them immediately.
Thanks for reading,
Amber
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Just scored an interview to be the new Visual Merchandiser (aka Window Dresser) at Forever21 and the envy of unemployed 21 y/o's everywhere. 2010-07-29
