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Ask Painfully Hip: Practically Plus-sized and Perpetually Perplexed

April 21, 2008 – 10:41 pm

Hi, Amber and Eve.

I am ridiculously in love with your blog and read it to get inspiration almost every day. Unfortunately, it’s basically impossible for me to find thrifted clothing that fits me. I’m not obese or even officially plus-sized (yet) but I am big and curvy: a size 12 with a thick waist, broad shoulders, wide hips, and giant boobs. Most of the vintage clothing I find is sized for teeny tiny waifish girls and even if I find something that I can squeeze into, it’s never, ever flattering.

Skinny jeans don’t work, unless I’m wearing shirt that’s long enough to hide my thighs and hips. Trapeze dresses, shirts, and coats make me look like a circus tent because of my boobs. I can’t wear anything fitted with buttons up the front because they gap. A very slender silhouette doesn’t hide my bumps.

So I try to make my style my own with shoes, bags, and other accessories, but if you had any advice about clothing that a girl my size could pull off, I’d really appreciate it!

Thanks,
Stacy

Amber,

My body is kind of on the “thick” side, and I’m very anxious about wearing sleeveless or shorts. Do you have any suggestions or tips of stylish spring/summer wear?

thanks.
xx,
EM

Well ladies, I do tend to have ideas about these things so thanks for asking! There are plenty of ways to to flatter your loverly curves. Here are some spring/summer tips along with some universally flattering examples from our sponsors (click photos for more info and don’t forget the PAINFULLYHIP discount code!)…

No waistline to speak of? Fake it.
Sometimes even scrawny girls are lacking in the hourglass arena, so if your curves seem to be limited to the convex variety, fake a waistline. High-waisted pants are probably not the best way to go about it, unless you happen to have a flattish tummy - otherwise they end up looking like mom jeans. (EDIT: A reader has disavowed this highly-sanctioned myth, saying that what shall heretofore be referred to as the “Mom Jean Effect” is actually dependant on the cut of the jean and that most high-waisted jeans are actually quite flattering on her 12-13 sized frame. Thanks so much, Suzanne!)

Here are some pieces that should do the trick:

High-waisted A-line skirts - If you still want to take part in the high-waisted trend, A-line skirts flow out from the body and emphasize the smallest part of your waist without over-accentuating your belly.

Cardigans - with a nonchalant button or 2 done up at the waist

Cropped vests - adorable layered over scoopneck tanks and tees. Leave it open if your impressive boobs don’t allow for full closure.

Structured jackets with waist details and 2 button blazers - just make sure your jackets are really fitted in the shoulders or they’ll end up adding girth. There are lots of short-sleeved jackets for warmer weather these days!

Belts - obvious! Keep some wide black ribbon on hand for a quick and pretty alternative to wear with dresses.

Empire waists - obviously obvious. They simultaneously enhance the bustline and accentuate the smallest part of your torso.

Don’t be afraid to flash that epidermis.
Sorry, EM, but its been proven (by some reeeeally bored scientists) that the human eye always tends to linger on the skin. And its not your luminous skin you’re trying to hide, is it? So show off your sweet freckles, lovely clavicle, voluminous cleavage or shapely legs and no one will even begin to take notice of last night’s beer binge bloat. Some flattering ways to show skin are:

Deep V and sweetheart necklines - they elongate the neck and show just enough cleavage for you to feel sexy without worrying about support bra sightings. Also, showing a bit of cleavage will break up the mammary “real estate” and actually minimize to the eye (probably one of the reasons that wearing a clingy crewneck sweater over a torpedo bra was considered a tad risque in the 50’s).

Halter necklines with wide straps - supportive, flattering and sultry, they showcase your covetable cleavage and minimize broad shoulders

Cap and Flutter sleeves - the closest thing to sleeveless with a comfortable and feminine slimming effect

Cut-outs and sheer fabrics - of the tasteful variety. I’m not talking heart-shaped cutouts all down the sides of your tapered acid washed jeans or a black chiffon tunic that shows your bra, c’mon now. A touch of sheer lace here and there won’t kill you.

Bermuda shorts and gauchos - when hitting at the knee will cover any smidge of cellulite and accentuate the slimmest part of your leg. Try em with calf-shaping wedges or heels if you’re not convinced.

If you still really hate your legs try (1) layering a maxi dress for your warm weather wallows, (2) sheer tights are an option this season, or (3) getting over it - they’re what you’ve got so love em and don’t let them hinder your thirst for fashion - plus it’s amazing what a little bit of self-tanner will do.

Shop vintage and learn to sew.
I’m having a hard time believing that you can’t find anything in thrift stores that fits you! I always find the cutest stuff neglected in the plus size section! Try taking a supportive but honest friend with you who will encourage you to be more adventurous and always try things on! If you still can’t seem to find anything flattering in your size, try eBay or vintage sites that sort by size. Make sure you go to a seamstress to get proper measurements (or learn how to do it on your own) before buying online. 50’s silhouettes are always flattering (hello, hourglass era!), but when in doubt buy larger than you think and learn to alter the bodice and sleeves to fit and/or flatter. Its really not as tough as you think and always worth it in the end if you find something that you really love.

Or look for all the cute vintage-inspired pieces that have been popping up in boutiques lately which tend to be more flattering and well-fit than actual vintage clothes. You may have to spend a little more, but it may be worth the time saved.

Above all, own it.
No matter how much advice I spew, none of it will do any good if you’re not confident in your own skin. You can pull absolutely anything off if you feel like rockin it (mind-bending outfits have been rocked which were historically known to be entirely un-rockable - CASE IN POINT), but until you reach that point, try to play up your favorite attributes. You’re more beautiful than you think - the flaws that you believe are constantly glaring out at the world like a large goiter are most likely only visible to you. Be unrepentant. Be happy to be you. Wear your personality and creativity with the confidence that you know exactly who you are and what you love, and eventually your peacock swagger will appear, along with the realization that you really are precisely as hot as you feel.

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By amber | Also posted in ask painfully hip | Comments (12)

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part III

April 16, 2008 – 7:54 am

first things first, i owe everyone a huge apology for leaving this last (promised) installment hanging for so long… i had surgery last week (rather intrusive and painful, but not life threatening, so it’s unnecessary to turn your “poor diana” meters above a 6 at this point.) and no matter how prepared you think you are, you’re just not.

so…here it finally is though. the last installment. and i’ve finally posted my own “style concept” like i promised i would back when dinosaurs and grandparents ruled the earth, so if you’re interested you can read it. and if you’ve written one of your own that you’d like to share, please let me/everyone here know! i’d love to see what’s inspiring the rest of the planet right now…in my quest to create the ultimate closet-of-compatibility, i’ve pulled together these vintage patterns from my embarrassingly large stash for inspiration. they seem to merge all the lanes i’ve been exploring throughout this process - simplicity, distinct style and individually interesting pieces which also compliment each other when worn together. i feel like they also hold some of that “timelessness” i was pondering before, without crossing the line into shudder-territory. (please ignore the stains/tears/teeth marks on the patterns… they’re old, they came from thrift stores and they’ve been loved. and in some cases, tasted.)

how many places could you wear any of these pieces this summer and instantly be the most perfectly-dressed girl on the block? everywhere.

sleeveless? not sleeveless? maxi? mid-length? over pants? with a belt? without? over blouses? by itself? in my next wardrobe reincarnation, my closet will be filled only with variations of this dress.

buttonless jackets, jumpsuits and cute little skirts. um, these would be the first three of my seven pieces…

sigh… if someone else hadn’t already taken a bite out of this pattern, i probably would have , just out of pure adoration. it’s the compatibility of these pieces with each other that really attract me to them right now. the jackets and blouses work with the skirts, the pants and the jumpsuits, but it isn’t done in an overly cutesy, too matching sort of way.

ok, so now back to you… what do you think? i’m craving feedback on this subject, since i’ve been obsessing over it for quite some time now. please share your thoughts! (and happy planning!)
xo

By diana | Also posted in ask painfully hip, fashion | Comments (10)

Ask Painfully Hip: Spring Tips for a Tomboy

April 4, 2008 – 8:31 pm

Hi Amber,

My clothes were stolen from the dryer today when I was doing my laundry. It was almost everything I own and almost all of my good things that I wore out to lunches and dinners over the weekend. I have to go shopping this weekend to replace my dresses and jeans and sweaters, since it is still quite cold in England.

Do you have any tips for a tomboyish girl this spring?

Thanks, Morgyn

That is some tough luck. Petty thieves should be strung up by their sticky fingers. I’d be happy to help out a laddish lady in need, even if soon after this letter was written her lost wardrobe was recovered. PHEW! I’ll answer it anyway with my favorite boy-inspired looks for spring. Most of the time I like to dress girly but I notice that tomboyishness is my tendency when I really want to be comfy. Here are my top hip tips (click photos for sources).

Cigarette pants and jeans. Alter some old broken in thrift store jeans (colored or acid washed denim is what i’ve been looking for) into sexy tapered cigarette pants and capris (maybe roll them up a little) to wear with boyishly nonchalant oversized plaid shirts, comfy v-neck tees, crisp white button-downs, blazers, vintage floral tunics, chuck taylors, chunky boots or sandals.

Shrunken blazers and oversized cardigans. For chilly evenings and breezy days play with proportions and get thee to the boys’/petites section of your thrift store for tiny fitted blazers. The trick is to make sure they fit real good in the shoulders or they’ll look dumpy/butch. Then find an oversized cardigan with slightly fitted sleeves. Wear either with the sleeves scrunched up over girly dresses, tanks, and band tees with high-waisted short shorts, mini skirts or cigarette pants.

Masculine hats and accessories. I know it’s tempting to soak up as many precious rays as possible at the beginning of spring. (Believe. I’m a sun-worshipping California native who lived in the pacific northwest for 7 years!) but make sure you protect your youthful non-cancerous skin from the sun, everyone’s secret adulterous lover. Wear an old man hat, newsboy cap, fedora, or bowler (Brat Pack style) with practically everything. Seriously, it’s bitchin’ time: sunscreen disintegrates into nothing, even after only a couple hours and you know you’ll forget to reapply. Just wear a hat. Some grampa suspenders, fitted vest or a stripey tie couldn’t hurt either and are always good for a dash of schoolboy charm.

Thanks, Morgyn!

Hey hipsters, keep the questions comin!

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By amber | Also posted in Street Style, ask painfully hip, diy, fashion, men's fashion, seasons change, thrift stars, trend alert | Comments (12)

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part II

March 27, 2008 – 9:22 pm

hi everyone! here’s installment number two about updating and reducing your wardrobe… hope you’re all having a great week!
xo!
-d.

along with the personal style upheavals spring brings, i feel like the “environmental awareness” trend has been gaining more and more intensity.
(this is amazing and wonderful and really really awesome.)
more people are thrifting, re-fashioning, re-cycling, buying vintage, second hand, (or hand made) off of ebay, etsy, and all the other small-business-ish sites out there, and otherwise just reducing their fashion intake.

interestingly enough, it was in the ’80’s that donna karan introduced her “seven essential (or easy) pieces,” which consisted of a collection of seven garments - a bodysuit, a coat, a jacket, blouse, skirt, pants and something a little fancier for the evening - that, when owned as whole, would pretty much cover every basic clothing need.
the pieces were created to work together and could be mixed and matched to take you from day to evening. the collection itself was designed for simplicity and ease in stylish dressing for the modern woman (as donna karan viewed her.)
(i find this particularly amusing since the ’80’s are not really remembered for their minimalist and environmentally conscious approach at anything…)

donna karan recently re-introduced this concept with her icons collection. (you can also read more about it here.)

these aren’t necessarily the seven pieces i would create my wardrobe with, (and not really in the price bracket i shop in), but i’m in love with this concept. it’s something i’ve been playing around with in my head for a while, and cleaning out my closet has made me start thinking about it more seriously. how nice would it be to be able to open up my closet door and know that almost everything i own is something that not only looks good on, but also works well with the rest of the things i own? how much stress would be eliminated if my clothing options complimented each other, rather than being a clashing pile of ill-fitting prints and patterns purchased in a fit of “oooh! pretty!” rather than “what exactly will i wear this with?” in order for this to work though, it means adding pieces to your wardrobe that fit with what already resides there, and not just blindly buying anything that sparkles. it takes a bit more thought and planning and less impulse, but i don’t think those are bad things to practice, by any means. i’ve found that most impulse buys have lead to unnecessary credit card bills and a pile of things i realistically won’t ever wear, but feel too guilty about purchasing to donate to goodwill.

so with all of this in mind, these are the questions i’ve been pondering:
• what exactly would i choose, if i were creating my own “seven easy pieces?”
• would this collection be seasonal, or would i have an entirely separate set of pieces for spring/summer and fall/winter?
• would i limit myself to seven, or would i increase that number a bit? ten easy pieces? even more?
• what sort of trends (personal or commercial) would i follow in creating this collection of pieces, or would i try to maintain a sense of “timelessness?” is that even possible?
i have worn some of my favorite things for years, but i think that’s more of a personal preference than an actual stylistic “timelessness.” i could be completely wrong here, but when i hear the term “timeless,” elastic-waist slacks and shapeless jumpers come to mind, which i feel achieve their title by never really being a fashionable choice to begin with, and therefore eliminate the danger of being given the opportunity to fall from grace.
please share your thoughts on this with me! i want to hear how you answer these questions.

By diana | Also posted in ask painfully hip | Comments (13)

seven easy pieces in three short installments

March 24, 2008 – 3:20 pm

disclaimer: when i started this post, i had no idea it would get so out of hand. but it did. and since i don’t want to scare anyone off, i’ve broken it down into three more easily digestible sections about the joys of re-thinking and reducing your wardrobe. my next series will be called “summing your point up in one concise entry - attn: diana.”
xo-
d.

i know for a fact i’m not the only one out there who starts itching to change something when the seasons start to shift. in certain cities, fashion week - both spring and fall - are more noted than the corresponding seasonal change. people use spring and fall to sort out and re-evaluate not just wardrobe choices, but many different of aspects of their lives. welcoming in a new season is almost like having a mini new year - i make resolutions, reflect on what it is i have accomplished, and what i hope to accomplish over the next few months, and i use all the shuffling - both the mental and the physical - as an excuse to re-evaluate my closet and discard the things that aren’t really working for me any more.
i say that i am not the only one who does this, because i have been seeing this theme spring up on many other blogs and websites i frequently lurk on.

i just preformed the equivalent of a wardrobe root canal, and it feels amazing. three garbage bags were hauled to the thrift shop up the street, (not to mention the four crates full of clothes i will soon be listing on ebay…) and getting dressed has suddenly become EASIER. tricia royal wrote a series of how-to articles (that are way better than i could ever hope to do, so please read them if you feel inspired to jump on the spring cleaning bandwagon), on downsizing and de-cluttering your wardrobe, over at bits and bobbins. she guides you through the process in a way that makes the task feel less intimidating and more like fun, and talks about why having less in your closet will actually make you feel like you have more options. among other things, you will know that everything in your closet does the following:
• works together
• looks good on you, and
• fits into the category of who you want to present yourself as.

tricia gives a list of questions to ask yourself regarding each garment in your closet, before you make the decision to keep it. reading this list got me thinking how it’s crucial to have a strong idea pre-wardrobe-overhaul of how you want your finished project (yourself!) to look after you sort. (in a way, it’s like building a house. you need to know if the finished building will be a sprawling ranch house or a three story victorian before you buy your materials and start hammering things together.)

the beautiful gala also gives her wonderfully helpful thoughts on this topic in her article “things to do before the seasons change”. she suggests writing a style concept, which is sort of a style outline for yourself. she gives a super amazing example here, and i highly recommend reading it, because there’s really no other way for me to express how fun and easy she makes this somewhat daunting project sound.
(and yes, i am working on one of my own, which i will most likely post on my blog if this sort of thing interests you.)

By diana | Also posted in ask painfully hip | Comments (9)

Category Archives: painfully helpful

Ask Painfully Hip: Practically Plus-sized and Perpetually Perplexed

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part III

Ask Painfully Hip: Spring Tips for a Tomboy

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part II

seven easy pieces in three short installments

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Category Archives: painfully helpful

Ask Painfully Hip: Practically Plus-sized and Perpetually Perplexed

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part III

Ask Painfully Hip: Spring Tips for a Tomboy

seven easy pieces in three short installments, part II

seven easy pieces in three short installments

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