Back to the Future: Fast Fashion Spring/Summer Shoe Trends

WHAT IS GOING ON??!
Lately, trend prediction has become like trying to ask a hummingbird for the time. Seems like less than 3 years ago the ’90s came back, went away and now they’re back again but now its specifically the LATE 90s-early 2000′s -at its worst, frumpy and self-consciously futuristic (you know I’m looking at you, Miu Miu SS11), at its best, a playful, grungy twist on a classic (Chanel SS11).
So that means the chunky shoe trend (or “orthopedic chic” as your mom probably called it) is back in full force, but in a beautifully minimal fashion. All over the catwalk, chunky platforms, frumpy wedges, manly oxfords, and yes, again with the combat boots. UK site, Zalando, seems to have it all.

70s platform glitter sandals
If the ’90s ate the ’70s and regurgitated them into a sandal, this is what they would look like. In other words, my past rave-attending self would have dated the lead singer of LIVE for a chance at these babies.

fringed oxfords for women
These shoes remind me of that boy in high school who was my best friend for years and was secretly in love with me, but then when he finally kissed me I felt like I was kissing my brother, but then he got married and only then did I realize I was totally in love with him. Apparently, I must have these perfect, comfortable shoes, or regret it forever.

jeffrey campbell wedges
Oh, glorious hooves of burlap and twine! Where have you been all my life?

platform flats
I think they call this platform/flat hybrid “flatforms.” Or I could be making that up.

buckle multiple=
I had some Doc Marten wingtip Mary Janes that were like my first born…and I would have thrown them to the wolves the second these came into my life.
Hm, what does that say about me?

high heel sneaker diesel chainmail
Yeah, I know. I’ve always thought the sneaker/heel combo was a travesty. But it’s cool – this one is covered in chainmail and has a Diesel label on it! Plus, the monotone black makes them totally wearable.

platform brogues
When the French Club cancelled our trip to Paris, I consoled my 15 year old self with a brand new pair of platform brogues. Pretty cool, right? Except that I wore mine with floral palazzo pants, a poet’s blouse and a jaunty beret. Live ‘n learn.

Make Your Closet Fashionably Foolproof!

Ooh Daddy! Sweet Shades of Glory!

And now, if you’ll allow me, I must talk about my new Ray-Bans.


Rayban Yellow Tortoiseshell
Sale Price $96.75

Aren’t they just made of butterscotch?? Well, velvet smooth (seemingly unbreakable) plastic and tortoiseshell. Somehow both timeless and shamelessly modern.
Never before have I allowed my eyewear-abusing-self such quality, but the nice folks at ShadesDaddy somehow knew that I’d misplaced my $6 sunnies with a premature desert summer and an imminent move to Hawaii encroaching. From now on, I am a reformed sunglass-loser/abuser. My new mantra: “On my face or in the case! If you lose these, Amber, you deserve a firm noogying.” Try it! It’s catchy.

Sunglasses also come in handy for sneaking sideways glances at things you’re not supposed to.

And look! They even look good on future supermodels!

Color me in love.

Photos by Jon Saupe and Abraham Cooper
Model is Rachel Ann Yampolsky (Good Luck at FORD, hun! You’re a shoo-in.)

There is also a super cute collection of sunglasses to be found at www.very.co.uk. Go ahead, check ‘em out.

Painfully Hip Resolutionists, for the WIN!

coffee and croissant

$100 Visa Card up for grabs to whoever is best at pretending they’re excited about getting into shape this year! Enjoy!

Keep reading for this easy-entry contest!
Continue reading Painfully Hip Resolutionists, for the WIN!

A Painful Parting: My Epic Knee-High Zodiac Boots

So I’m leaving on my big tour in a few minute weeks and I’m starting to realize just how expensive its going to be… which in turn is making me panic. Like an excesssssive consssssonants kind of panic. This is what it’s like to reach desperate measures.
So I’m selling “The Boots.”

knee high zodiac cowboy boots

Real leather, real stacked heels, real Zodiacs. Legit in every way, even the size. A true 7.5.

This is incredibly difficult, but as you can see from the listing, they’re very photogenic and I’ve used them in plenty of shoots and fashion shows. I must be weaned. I was almost about to start shopping for engagement rings when I decided it was time to cut the cord.

These epic vintage early ’80s knee-high cowboy boots leave a wake of blown minds everywhere they go. No joke. Gaping jaws on the ground. They’re perfectly broken in, with some very small scuffs here and there, but really. Would you want it any other way? These are solid mofo-ing boots that were made for walking, not for pussyfooting around.

Enjoy. I will cry whilst packing them up, but not to worry! They will be tears of freedom.

PHDC: Wingflash Snowstorm Pt. 2


Photos by Ryan Mihalyi
Models – Asher Caplan, Ashley Geiger, and Sandra Solial
Jewelry by Laura Kepner-Adney, Wingflash Designs
Hair by Addam Moreno, ISO Hair
Makeup by Lauren Malanga
Styling by Amber Mortensen

Get an eyeful of Wingflash Snowstorm Part 1

Continue reading PHDC: Wingflash Snowstorm Pt. 2