this purdy lil’ 3 piece for only $37.80 includes a tiny wee sarong which is handy if you haven’t had a wax in over a fortnight. but mostly i just love the description on this: “The two layers of frilly bkinni brief expose your appeal when you twist your body.” most of my “appeal” is in my crotchal area.

usually i hate fussy things like “beads” on a bikini, but the Missoni style print on this $37 bikini is pretty irresistible. again, the caption just says it all: “The beading on the center front and the end of the nect tie with the zic zac print enhance your hippymode on the beach.” Hippymode! is now a permanent part of my vocabulary.

yikes, the YesStyle models are a little to, eh, vapidly gorgeous for my taste. it’s kinda like, why do i even bother? they should really go for only mildly hot models. anyway, this is so sweet for only $25!. i love the style of the top (is it bandeau or string? i’ve got my top scientists on it but we may never know for sure) and is that a purple link on the bottoms? adorable.

this is so cute and only $40.50! if i had this i could go to the beach on my worst water weight day after a night of binge-drinking nothing but Guinness! i’m not totally convinced about the print, but i love this style. this would also be so great for maternity swimwear, but who am i kidding, i’m preggers with a beer baby every day.