Painfully Hip » trend alert

Check Me Out: Transitioning to Spring

amber — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 01:46:22 +0000

“woodland creatures, plaid, houndstooth, zigzags and argyle” by Painfully Hip.

About Budget Style (click for more details!)

Shoe-bang! Top 10 Fashion-Forward Ankle Boots Under $50

amber — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:49:50 +0000

I’m terribly sorry for being mostly MIA these last coupla weeks, and not in a good way. I’ve been all over the map, burrowing my way through a glut of writing assignments, and completely and totally camera-less. This fact was especially stingy through my recent Agent Ribbons tour… Those ladies know how to DRESS. We took Farmington, MO by storm, I tell you what!

Of course, I have been thinking about fashion. Always. And lately I’ve been thinking about bondage-inspired ankle boots. About.com asked me to write a few pieces for them and here is my latest.

In past decades, le dépêche mode (fast fashion) was our enemy when investing in the trendiest boots. Who wants to adopt an expensive trend that might stale at any moment? Ankle boots, however, have been huge for the last several years and show no sign of being set free from their prominence. In fact, the latest ankle boot trends show the opposite sentiment: a tendency towards bondage. If you’d like to dabble in this “fetish” without breaking the bank, here are my top 10 picks that feature a plethora of buckles, harnesses, straps, grommets, laces, studs, cuffs, and even cages. Let’s get chic!

1. Strappy Buckle Bootie – Overdose on buckles! Why not? These easy-entry suede boots with a back zipper are only $26.40.

GoJane.com, $26.40

2. Engineer Ankle Boots – Harness boots with a rustic flavor and unique gold studs.

Forever21.com, $22.80

3. Leatherette zipper caged heel – This style walks the line between Yves St Laurent’s famed cage heel and Alexander McQueen’s motorcycle zipper bootie. Either way, you’ve got this trend under lock and key for only $25.20!

GoJane.com

4. Black Patent Lace-Up Ankle Boots – Simultaneously practical and daring, these stunnahs are wearable, warm and only $44.

NewportNews.com, $44.60

5. Bunny Ankle Boots – Paired with black skinny jeans and a shrunken leather jacket, anyone could pull off these exaggerated cuffs with aplomb.

Forever 21, $27.80

6. Crinkle Leatherette Lace-up Bootie – Rugged styling with ultra feminine details, like tassels, macramé and a sky-high stiletto heel for a mere $29.40!

GoJane.com, $29.40

7. Multi Strap Platform Bootie – Edward Scissorhands himself might covet this boot, Just imagine how nicely they would toughen up that floral body-con dress you thrifted last week.

GoJane.com, $31.50

8. Greta Wedge Boot – These boots are probably my tamest choice, but only because the last pair whipped them into submission. I reckon these beauties will still be chic next year, so you’ll get your $32.80 worth and then some.

Forever21.com, $32.80

9. Finella Bootie – Wear this corseted peep toe with layers of tights to keep your toes warm in cooler climes.

Alloy.com, $44.90

10. Zipper Cuff Peep Toe Bootie – Like a motorcycle jacket for your feet! What’s not to love?

GoJane.com, $26.80

Painfully Hip Design Collective F/W 2009: Daphne

amber — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:31:12 +0000

The Painfully Hip Design Collective are on a roll. This time within the walls of the lofty new Eric Firestone Gallery, a magnificent building full colored glass and beautifully weathered murals and seasoned brick, what Eric hopes to call “Tucson’s version of Andy Warhol’s Factory.” So on friday night’s big opening (starts at 6pm, the gallery expects around 500 people), we plan to take that literally… by doing a live photo shoot with the art opening party as a backdrop. I can’t tell you how excited this makes me. Make sure you stop by if you’re in the area so you can witness my hummingbird-like styling and direction …although some may come for the champagne.

I am getting ahead of myself. The following is my interpretation of Autumn this year… a jaunty 70s schoolgirl with Biba Girl tendencies.

Shop the shoot (click images to see listings)!

Painfully Hip Design Collective – F/W 2009

photos by Ryan Mihalyi
model: Katie Palmer
hair: Addam Moreno
makeup: Octavio
styling and concept: Amber Mortensen
wardrobe and additional styling:Diana Deaver
accessory styling: Jasmine Jarrett
painting: “Pavane for a Dead Princess: Jezebel” by Terence La Noue
location:
Eric Firestone Gallery, Exhibition and Event Space
403 North 6th Ave
Tucson, Arizona 85701
Ph 520.882.2616

All clothing is vintage, except the luscious, soft as butter, cornflower denim (J Brand jeans. I found them for $30 at TjMaxx. SCORE.

Painfully Tempting: Vintage Jackets at Market Publique

amber — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:35:24 +0000

As much as I love to layer, the weather in Arizona has thankfully not gotten cooler than a 5 year old’s tepid dunking milk. So I have not of yet had occasion to wear any layers (not counting the occasional bf blazer over my high-waisted short shorts – gotta keep it classy) this fall. But one can always look, right? I have nothing against coats – just the weather they require to be useful.
(Click photos to check auction)

Bright Blue Wool Boyfriend Blazer from Erstwhile Style - current bid $42

God, I love this color!

Embroidered Wool Coat (are those SEAHORSES?) - current bid $38

Are those SEAHORSES? I love me a slouchy, warm coat with a tropical theme.

Tweed Swing Cape - current bid $42

Going gone! This’ll be going the way of the big ass fish by the end of the day!

Green Wool Coat with Fur Collar - current bid - $64

Pounce! This too shall pass in 7 hours. Gasping for breathe.

60s Swing Coat - current bid $175

Perfection. All the androgynous appeal of a boyfriend blazer, with all the sass and femininity of a 60s swing coat. I’m just going to go ahead and count on the mercy of the universe to bestow something like this on my life. Eventually…

Its photoshoot day again!! My roving gang of artistic fanatics are at it again… we need to come up with a team name! This will be our third shoot since I moved here, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Upcoming this week: our beauty shoot for Wingflash’s sharktooth and gilt organic jewelry and our 70s school girl, Biba-inspired fall shoot. Here’s a wee teaser.

photo by Ryan Mihalyi
model: Katie Palmer
styling and concept: Amber Mortensen
hair by Addam Moreno
makeup by Octavio
wardrobe and additional styling by Diana Deaver
accessory styling by Jasmine Jarrett

Painfully Here: Our First Roomie Shoot

amber — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:09:36 +0000

After a very busy weekend, we finally got a chance to play dress-up with Diana’s closet (since mine has now shrunk from “walk-in” to “portable”) and chisel out our favorite fall trends. This, as fellow Tucsonans know, is a hilarious feat in early September. The relaxed look on my face is a SHAM, it was 96 degrees and not a good day for boots and sweaters and hats. However, fun was had… and not just by our on-looking neighbors with the cooler of High Life.

These were all taken in and around our new house – a veritable paydirt of textures and colors that any photographer would covet. Perfect! (Click on photos to get to the Etsy listings).

sundress to fall dress

Photos by Diana Deaver
Styled and modeled by Amber Mortensen

Painfully Hawt: BriAnne Wills Vintage Summer

amber — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:04:48 +0000

Most of you are teetering between summer and fall, but I am in the desert and will probably be sporting the minidresses for a couple more months. I am, however, tumbling down the rabbit hole for this transitionary photoshoot by photographer BriAnne Wills, giving love to vintage fur and swimwear. I love the (probably unintentional) Margot/Richie Tenenbaum styling and the makeup is absolutely brilliant.
Trés cool.

Model: Stephanie @ Option
Stylist: Sara Moskovitz
Clothing: Monster Vintage

Painfully Hip: This is How We Do.

amber — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:29:54 +0000

So.
I know it. There have been exactly 4 updates in the last two weeks. Things are, um, just a bit complicated (read: simultaneously ass-kickingly traumatic and glorious) in our sphere at the moment. Curious??

The last two weeks since we got back from the Painfully Hip Roadtrip have been INSANE-O-RAMA.
I got a new nephew, became single, moved out, went on a last minute roadtrip to Canada and back, started writing an in-depth emergency article on current hairstyles for the News & Review, found my photo in a glossy magazine (Lucky, September 2009), and planned 5 photoshoots, a yard sale and a solo move to Arizona.

… if you think that’s a bit much, you should see the list I sent to Diana, who, by the way, has an eerily similar list of her own. For instance, swap “Canada” with “Mexico” and change “to Arizona” to “in with Amber.”
Yeah, we were exclusively internet friends only 3 months ago and now we’re practically married (just don’t tell Diana that Arizona is actually a red state). But one thing we have in common is that we take bullshit and turn it to gold. This is how we do.

Therefore? Hang in there, folks. This is going to be a whole new beginning for Painfully Hip, because Diana and I have realized: once we get our heads together, we tend to get a little, ahem, obsessed.

I have created “The Most Stupidly Half-Assed Animated Gif Ever Made” in celebration.

ROCKIT!

In case you haven’t noticed, I am getting REALLY EXCITED about winter for once! And not just because I’ll be able to wear short shorts for most of the year.
Take THAT, pants!

Check out WellWornRoad for more details, including photos of our NEW HOT WATER HEATER!!

Bike Chic from Let’s Go Ride a Bike

amber — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:09:47 +0000

Everyone should know that bicycles are the most efficient, perfect pieces of machinery ever invented. Lets Go Ride a Bike is a great Chicago city cycling blog who recently featured my bike photo in their Bicycle Beauty post. There were so many good photos, I just couldn’t resist re-posting my faves. Just look at these girls! I’m ODing on glee!

I get a lot of comments/questions about proper attire for riding bikes. My advice? Get real good at riding and wear pretty much anything you want! I wear some really stupid stuff on my bike (for serious – can you say leather shorts? 4 inch wedges? pencil skirts? Ok ok, I was cheating with that last one, mine unbuttons down the front).

My point is, just RIDE YOUR BIKE! It really is the only way to get around these days.

Chicks and Bikes

Cherry Blossom Girl

The Sartorialist

via NaturallyNina.com

Frolic

public nudity and other acceptable behavior

diana — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:00:47 +0000

being the blue-eyed, dark-haired pasty girl that i am, the whole nude thing (yes, i mean nude-toned clothing, you pervs!) has never been that attractive to me. i find that it either, a) washes me out even more, or b) gives me the appearance of having applied a dollar-store brand self-tanner in the shape of an outfit. neither of these are high on my list of “looks i’m going for.”

so things that we’re not allowed in my closet were as follows: nudes. and then somehow that started leaking into the “whites, off-whites, creams, tans, pale pink and light brown” categories as well.

call me closed-minded. that’s ok.

then, back in the good old days of january or february, i stumbled across this picture of the incredibly gorgeous nikki, of flair to remember:

that is a pretty sweet outfit going on right there, consisting of some colors i do believe i’ve banned from my life!

and then, wait! what’s this perfection? it’s peachy, but… it could also almost pass as a nude! and i’m coveting it? what’s happening?!

yes, i know she’s tanned and gorgeous, but my pasty-ass has decided that it wants in on some of this action. so i went to saver’s with the intention of finding myself something nude-ish, but still well within the comfort of my safety zone.

i procured a pair of 80′s peach-colored wedges. i slapped on a very conservative layer of self-tanner, (not the dollar-store brand,) and i wore them in public. and i can assure you with my Most Serious Face that these peach wedges have not left my tootsies in well over a week.

thus begins the saga of my obsessive patrolling of All Things Nude on the internet.
wait. that came out very wrong.

would you like some more inspirational photos? (really, i mean, who doesn’t?)

you know what i call that? i call that “wow.” (she, however, prefers to go by the moniker dear golden, and her fantastic etsy shop is packed full of the most amazing pieces, many of which fall into the “pale hues diana previously avoided” category. this will be the first etsy shop i buy out entirely when i win the lottery tomorrow.)

so in a wild attempt to be a fun-loving, free-spirited and open-minded human being, i went out last weekend in, (get ready!) pure white and pale, pale pink. and maybe a pair of nude wedges were thrown in there… the over-all response? two enthusiastic thumbs up. i was even challenged to a dance-off by a very cute boy at my favorite bar.
i would share the photographic proof, but someone (ahem… you know who you are…) failed to clue me in on the fact that white skirts require a slip.

question: ladies! what have we learned today?

answer: approach life with an open mind – you just might be missing out on a whole lot of really great nudity. (or at the very least an invitation to a dance-off or two…)

Thunderous Threads: Throwback to the Future with Thunderhorse Vintage

amber — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:41:04 +0000

Here is my latest article for the Sacramento News and Review. I hope you enjoy it!
Everything in the photo is available in our Etsy store.

Thunderous Threads
Throwback to the Future with Thunderhorse Vintage

Smack dab in the middle of the biggest recession in decades – neon, splashy prints, acid wash, and tight-rolled jeans are rampant. Ironically, this year spring trends are dilly-dallying in the late 80s and early 90s, times of comparable fiscal peril. Did we accidently take a wrong turn in a hyperspace DeLorean? How can we dabble in throwback fashion when all our Hypercolor shirts have permanent pit-stains and our bare wallets are the only accessories worthy of such concern?

For Jennifer and Marilyn Ayres, co-owners of local vintage boutique Thunderhorse Vintage, this irony isn’t a problem. The sprightly twenty-three year old twin sisters have been fans of 80s punk and thrift store vintage since their high school days in Davis, where the overriding fashion aesthetic was plainly “collegiate.” Both girls are known to sport a neon mishmash of punk-infused layers expertly altered for maximum impact – not for peripheral viewing. Jen, for instance, wears her hair in an angled modern mullet in bright auburn with panels of shocking turquoise. She has been spotted behind the counter of her store wearing spandex workout wear Jane Fonda might covet. Her personal style is an authentic expression of who she is: bright, cheeky, unapologetic, and obsessed with vintage.

Jennifer started Thunderhorse Vintage in a small room at the back of Bows & Arrows’ gargantuan premises on L St, but has now moved into its own real estate at 2522 J St. She describes her store’s collection as “artifacts” of the past, boasting an abundance of pristine specimens from every era. She continues to unearth such stunners from the Bush Sr. and Reagan era to keep up with increasing springtime demands. In case you were wondering, their prices are as reasonable as a beer on Friday.

For this spring fashion shoot (see photo), Thunderhorse and I took some of the store’s more obviously dated pieces and combined them in a modern way. Some may deem this pair of geometric-patterned tapered cotton pants —formerly known as “Hammer pants,” nowadays thinly disguised as “harem pants”— unwearable, but modern versions of this controversial shape have reached a definite height this season. To contrast their former life of beanbag chairs and matching pattern half-shirts, we combined these pants with a slim black tank, a metallic floral vest and a dizzying dose of unpredictable accessories.

Thunderhorse argues that you don’t need to be part of the soulless consumerist machine to stay distinctive and hip. Vintage, a little creativity and a lot of balls go a long way. The result is a modern silhouette exploding with fun, nostalgia… and spring-like overtones of endless possibility.

Here’s a lil snapshot of me, Jen Thunderhorse and the model, Jillian at a recent MOD fashion show.