I don’t know what it is lately with the ugly. I find something hideous… like spontaneous conjunctivitis-inducingly hideous… and I can’t resist it. The more it makes me want to wretch, the more I have to have it in my closet. From a late ’80s Hawaii souvenir dress (yeah, it said “Aloha” all over it, what?) to high-wasted acid washed mom jeans with weird assymetrical leather paneling on them… I’ve procured an impressive wack o’ ugly in the last few weeks.
My only theory is that I can’t pass up a styling challenge. But how in the name of the Land’s End catalogue do I make this sad, vest-shaped collection of buttons and polyester look good? Not sure I succeeded. Maybe total fail. I keep thinking just what if I had remembered to button that bottom button? Or added one more accessory… or 3? But that might be like topping a three day old McDonald’s Filet O’ Fish with truffle shavings – it could contribute some vague palatability, but it’s more just a waste of perfectly good truffle shavings.
- Gross Adjustable Vest Thingy With a Print of What Looks Like that Magic Clock Which Turns Out to be a Portal to the Lair of the Red Bull in The Last Unicorn and Some Weird Playing Cards From the 1800s Printed On It – St Vincent Thrift Store Free Room reject
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Vintage Brooks Brother’s hat (my absolute favorite hat EVER) – Some Like It Vintage, Tucson AZ
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Gap 1969 Legging Jeans
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Vintage 70s Stacked Wedges – Thrift Store
- Pheasant Feather Earrings – Cuffs Urban Apparel
In training for my first Arizona summer, I am quickly learning that owning 2 or 3 swimsuits will not suffice. So I’ve been on the lookout for a 60s swimsuit without those dreaded torpedo cone cups. You know, the ones that the less blessed-of-bosom have to be constantly monitoring in case an errant elbow suddenly renders one concave?
Never have I been known to curse my lack of mammary fortitude more than last week when I was buzzing around Phoenix styling a test shoot for fashion photographer Mark Morgan. I was ransacking the lovely Butter Toast Boutique oohing and ahhing in an annoying fashion, when it hit me that the perfect periwinkle patterned 60s swimsuit was balking at me from its high horse on the mannequin at the front of the store. It was from Merry May Handmade and it had all the perfect elements… except that it was not made for a 30-something woman who would likely still fit into her 7th grade training bra. Luckily, there was a shapely 16 year old Ford model standing in the wings, ready to fill those cups with aplomb.
Oh… curses.
Photo by Mark Morgan
Model – Victoria Klemme, Ford Models
Hair & Makeup – Haley Irene
Styling by Amber Mortensen
Today I asked a $100 question! Answer it in the comments at BlogHer and you could be $100 richer! Think of all the socks you could buy to stuff you cones with!
Photo by Tyler Mussetter, M Portraits.
Gold leaf earrings, silk chainlink top, beaded belt, and platform wedges from one of my favorite boutiques, Cuffs Urban Apparel.
As you know, I’ve been riding the skinny jean bandwagon for quite some time and can’t imagine letting them go as my staple denim with any kind of swiftness. But I do have one skinny jean rant. You know when you’ve pulled on your favorite pair of skinnies for the third day since laundry day and you notice they’ve come down with a bad case of Saggy Knees Syndrome? It can strike at any moment, but not to me, not anymore!
Unlike those crappy denim leggings that have been plaguing the skinny jean marketplace with their elastic waists, silly screen-printed grommets and (god forbid) flesh-colored gussets, these 1969 Gap Legging Jeans actually look like real jeans. They have double seams, a functioning fly, and just enough stretch to allow proper shaking of one’s groove thing (but not so much that you’re walking around with knees like deflated balloons). They also fit like they were sewn right onto me. That’s real denim-human LOVE.
