i love color and i’m not afraid to use it. if there was a color religion, i might join it. but for some people (andrea, i’m talking to you), color is a scary, evil thing of wonder, which is difficult, if not impossible to pull off. it’s a wonder i know, but fantastic, fluorescent, acid bright color is the thing right now, and black is just blah. so my prescription for you pigment-phobes is to suck it up and buy some outlandishly bright accessories to go w/ that black tank and grey jeans. seriously. be obnoxious, you’ve got a lot of making up to do.
 
d’orsay heels $29.50
 
houndtooth flats $29.50
green lucite wedge $26.99
yellow patent double-strap maryjane $17.99
red knit beret $10.50
bright tights – set of 3, red, yellow & blue $14.50
orange patent ankle strap flats $17.99
exploded print headband $6.99
open weave oblong scarf $19.99
bright chunky bangles $12
red multi strap toe ring sandals $19
peridot canvas bag $29
 
vivid silk clutch $28.80
orange shiraleah tote $27
still not enough for you? try searching my mistress, Etsy.com by color!
what goes up must come down. and although i think mini-dresses will be sticking around for a while (or at least until the return of that sad sod, jack frost, the sumbitch), long floral halter dresses are just divine, no? what a great way to stay cool even if you haven’t had a chance to get thee to the tannery.
there’s a hell of a lot to be said for leaving something to imagination (it’s funny how in vancouver, the minute the mercury hits 80 degrees, out come the short shorts, headband-sized skirts, tube tops and shirtless men). and there’s something so easy and effortless, yet eye-catching and daring about an ankle-length sundress. you could go straight from the beach and wander into an awards show undetected. and yet, nobody will ever know that you’re completely commando under there. c’mon now, nobody likes sweaty panties.
only $29.80 for glamour galore. and no need for jewelry even, the tie at the neck is beaded. i’d wear this with flat strappy leather sandals and maybe a bangle and a cotton tote.
$29.99 for hippie chic. i’ve been eyeing this dress for a while now. i absolutely adore the print and the colors. and that subtle little ruffle on the bottom makes my wee heart flutter.
only $24.99 for gaga gorgeousness! i cannot believe the price on this beauty. and it’s SILK! suddenly you’re a socialite vacationing marrakesh.
PS empty your caches, hipsters! we’ve got a new masthead!
ok, as you know, i’m in love with the romper, and i bought a great one this weekend for a song, but holy methane gas! Forever21 really let one rip with this stinker. goddamn! next time i wanna look like an easter egg decorated by a retarded 3 year old in a convalescent home, i’ll wish i’d bought this frumpy, shapeless horror show.
woven floral jumpsuit $26seriously. yikes. who in the world could pull this off? or would even want to try?? forever 21, you’re on notice.
EDIT: it occurs to me that this might possibly be the perfect thing to wear on your next serious bender:
-one less piece of clothing to try and remember not to take off
-the perfect camouflage for an adult diaper
-if you puked on it, who would notice?
i’m coming out. i can deny it no longer. i am. a hockey fan. and the vancouver canucks have made it to the second round of the playoffs for the first time in years! but really? how can you not love the canucks?:
Hello there, Taylor Pyatt
Where’d ya get those big blue eyes at?
…oh, he can put the puck in the net too.
i’ve got team spirit just as much as the next person, but you know what i can’t stomach? it’s your figure’s worst enemy, unless of course you look good with linebacker shoulders: the hockey jersey. and fan gear is just SO overpriced. its not like i’ll EVER be able to afford to go to a play-off game here (decent seats are selling for hundreds of dollars each), but i will be wearing my team colors nonetheless.
official canucks jersey: $200
OR
blue cardigan: $29
vintage shorts (there’s those buttons again):$19.80
soft basic T: $18
silver affirmation bangles (gotsta keep the ol’ spirits up when you run outta “spirits”):$20
silver organizer clutch: $29
cabochon necklace: $6.80
striped slingbacks: $16.80
aviators: $6.80
total: $146.20
i said damn, Blue Eyes Pyatt’s gon’ be all OVER my ass.
apparently i like to torture myself, something i realized when checking out the new Kate Moss for Topshop line, which i can’t possibly afford to have shipped to me. the clothes are amazing, but what really caught my eye was Irina Lazareanu in those perfect aviators…
i’ve been on the hunt for the perfect pair of aviators since time began. i like something a bit flashy, but not too starsky and hutch; something oversized, but not bug-eyed. i prefer a white or gold frame, ideally rimless on the bottom, amber-hued graduated tint, and non-reflective lenses… as if that’s not a tall enough order, i’m losing my sunglasses constantly (i think you would probably be able to find me by the trail of lost sunglasses) and i treat them like a red-headed stepchild. so i need something dirt cheap. or free. free would be good…
badass urban outfitters metal-rimmed aviator in gold: $14
glam forever21 metal-rimmed aviator in gold: $4.80
and for the slightly more daring…
boss forever21 aviators in white and yellow: $5.80
flash delia*s aviators in gold and white: $12.50
but you know what would really butter my muffin? serious quality aviators almost identical to Irina’s and a set of lipglosses free from Bebe. just sign up to win in my sidebar banner! thanks coutorture, freechic is the one thing i like better than cheapchic…
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Thanks for reading,
Amber
painfullyhip at gmail.com
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